Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Premier League footballers in panto cartoon fun


This sporting blog brings to you this festive season the ghost of Christmas past.

What we have here are images from the calendar of the now defunct weekly magazine 90 Minutes (published by IPC).

The year was 1995 or 1996. The cartoonist is brilliant. His copyright goes to all cartoons.

Here we go and Merry Christmas:













Monday, December 05, 2011

Martin O'Neill programme notes

Martin O'Neill has just been appointed Sunderland AFC manager.

Printed below is a copy of his programme notes from his time as manager of Wycombe Wanderers.

They are long, they are brilliant. For Sunderland fans, they are a must read.

Here goes:

Thank you for making Saturday an unforgettable day in the history of Wycombe Wanderers Football Club. Not only did you make it like a home game for us but you were worth the proverbial goal start. On behalf of the players, a massive thanks to all of you who made the journey to Sutton. Wembley here we come again. Over the past few seasons I have received all sorts of letters, some complimentary, others less so, some misguidedly well meaning, others embarrassingly patronising but I don't think I've ever been so upset as I was with the following letter written by a Vice President (name and address supplied) last week.

Dear Martin, Having watched Wycombe struggle against Boston, Sutton and now Woking I have decided to drop you a line again. I appreciate that we have lost our backbone for these games (central defence Glyn Creaser centre midfielder Stapes centre forward Scotty, not to mention Sir Matt for the first two) but the inspired display against Dagenham has been followed by lacklustre displays since. The effort and endeavour is still there but the shape has gone. I simply cannot understand the logic of dragging off Mark West against Sutton to give the now lamentable Dennis Greene his place, whilst to give him two minutes against Woking defies logic or exudes panic.

Simon Hutchinson for a good half of last season was totally ineffective, yet this season when he at last is displaying his true form he is relegated to 15 minute appearances. Did it escape your attention that against D & R we had a small forward line and played with real spirit when Dave Carroll went.

To couple Westy with Trevor Aylott is to combine a thoroughbred with a carthorse. I am sure Trevor Aylott was a good player and he still shows deft touches now and then, but he has no pace and does not look fully fit. The tactics of hooking the ball in the air for him to win are even more sterile than with Scotty because for all his size Keith Scott is actually very quick, whereas Trevor Aylott is potentially not.

Tim Langford is the worst header of a ball I have seen, so that his positive attribute has to be pace. He has this but he lacks ball control at the crucial moments - in other words he is like Dennis Greene. John Kerr was playing for Chertsey earlier this season and gave by all accounts a superb display last Saturday for Millwall - did you try to sign him!

The referee last night may have done you an unwitting favour by asking you to leave the pitch - if you sit in the stands higher up it looks easier (which it's not) but the pluses and minuses of the team are clearer to see. I know if is difficult for you not to be on the line but sometimes getting so involved at such a close level is counter productive. I suppose the alternative is to look at the videos of the game afterwards, but of course these are selective in their coverage.

I am not suggesting any more than one match viewing the game at a higher level. Against West Bromwich Albion I stood on the rails exactly opposite you. My friend watched the game on Sky TV. When I spoke to him on Monday morning his view of the game, the players and the way the match went was vastly different to mine - I subsequently saw the video and could understand his comments on the amount of possession, and the performances of both West Brom and Wycombe players.

What has happened to Kim Casey and Les Thompson? Kim seems to be either unfit or to have lost his bottle his injury probably wouldn't have happened if he hadn't ducked away from the ball. Les Thompson was supposed to be our solution to the left back problem but after his roasting a week or so ago he has vanished. It seems our team will be Hyde: then Ryan Ryan Ryan Ryan forthe back four with occasional appearances in midfield if our injuries and suspensions get any worse.

The opposition have discovered how to beat and contain Wycombe - keep the ball on the deck. Kettering's goals were beautifully worked, whilst Sutton and Boston made inroads repeatedly into Wycombe's defence by doing this. Andy Kerr, Matt, Anton and Glyn Creaser are all superb headers of a ball so that it is futile for the opposition to leather the ball upfield, where our back four gobble it up. Unfortunately too often it is spooned in the opposite direction. Perhaps a sweeper like Richardson of Bromsgrove who controlled, and settled the back four may be called for? I enjoyed your meeting last season with the V.P. and Leagueline members. Will there be a repeat? It's not all brickbats you know.
Best wishes for the next gruelling fortnight and beyond.
Yours sincerely

Perhaps, Sir the shape of a team comes from the "backbone", which you have admitted yourself has been decimated by injury. If you actually admit such a thing, I don't therefore see your point. But to call the display against Boston lacklustre? Are you serious? You must have been the only one in the 4,500 crowd who felt that our performance which included missing a penalty, hitting the crossbar and scoring three goals was lacklustre. Do you have a dictionary handy? Against Sutton in the first semi-final we were defensively poor but, although I have learned not to deal in "if onlys", I felt that had Mark West scored a simple header to give us a 3-2 lead a few minutes before they actually got their third goal, we may well have won the home tie. The point I am making is that, from an attracting view point I doubt if our performance could have been described as lacklustre. Still, when it has really mattered this season the players have delivered - every time, so far! Did it escape YOUR notice sir that in that lacklustre display against Woking we played the last 25 minutes of the game with ten players, Cousins having been very harshly sent off for a challenge when he's actually played the ball, and David Carroll almost amputated by their centre half Nugent in their penalty box, with no penalty given - video evidence absolutely conclusive on both counts!!! We hung on resolutely for a much deserved point - a point which may ultimately clinch the championship for us.

At this point I apologise profusely to you on behalf of these teams, who, instead of posting us down the three points, actually turn up and try to prevent us from winning matches, which as you know, has become our divine right these last few seasons. How dare they field all eleven players, close us down, tackle and have not only the audacity to keep a clean sheet - as happened once this season at Adams Park - but also the temerity to score goals with `beautifully worked moves' like Sutton, Boston and Kettering. So far this year we have been breached 20 times in 27 games at Adams Park once every 121 minutes, so these beautiful moves are well worth waiting for- yet at the same time scored a paltry 62 goals here. Has it escaped your notice sir that we have scored more goals than any other team in England except Newcastle United who have played six more games and spent £7 million pounds more than us. Not all brickbats, you say!

I am also sorry that my substitutions and the timing of them are beyond your considerable but hardly Einsteinian comprehension. Very little that happens to my players on the field escapes my notice, sir. It also didn't escape my notice that your letter to me last year criticised the 'ponderous' Scott. Changed your mind a little, I see? Also in that same egregious epistle last year you wanted to know why we didn't play with small fast forwards like West, John Kerr and David Gipp. Pointing out that we did so in 1989/90 (before I arrived) and thrashed Runcorn 5-0, this particular game being an absolute treat to watch.

A feature of your writing sir, is to take an incident or game out of context, praise or vilify, as you see fit and then force some point home to suit your argument. I have checked that Runcorn result. You're right. Wycombe won 5-0. The previous game with the self same small, fast forward line, Wycombe lost 1-0 to Kettering. No goals? Must have been a lot of fun that? The following matches played with the same small, quick bright forwards read like this. in chronological order.

1-1 against Gravesend & Northfleet F.A. Cup
1-1 again (120 minutes) against the same team.
1-1 with Telford
*3-0 Victory against Gravesend & Northfleet
4-1 defeat by Stafford in the F.A. Cup
1-0 defeat by Chorley
and then 2-1 defeat at home to Yeovil.
* One victory in eight games with only seven goals scored (5 of them against Gravesend)! Do you see what I mean about taking something out of context?

Almost enough to get a manager the sack? Which reminds me. I got this job because Wycombe were lying 14th in the League and already out of the F.A. Trophy, beaten 3-1 at home to those giants of non-League football - the Metropolitan Police, in front of 1,100 people. If I feel annoyed with your letter then perhaps a few of the lads may be incensed by it. Kim Casey showed enough 'bottle' at Sutton or didn't you agree? Although Tim Langford has yet to settle in, he actually won the sponsors Man of the Match in that epic encounter with Slough a few weeks ago and Trevor Aylott, described by myself as having invented the world 'immobile' came on loan to us just before transfer deadline, when Scott injured himself, with no promise whatsoever of a game but prepared, if needed to lend a hand over the "gruelling" few weeks ahead. He was first into the dressing room at Sutton to congratulate the players in general and Keith Scott in particular.

You remark on the non-signing of John Kerr. The same John Kerr that played in that remarkable run of non-success that I mentioned earlier? The same John Kerr that decided he had done enough for this club and walked out of his own free will for greener pastures I am told?

Because Miliwall signed him that makes him a good player? I believe he used to play rather infrequently for Portsmouth. Why didn't they re-sign him? Why was he playing for Chertsey in the first place? Actually, I have never seen him play. I only wish now that I had been here for that splendid ten game spell he had with the Club that saw Wanderers go from 20th in the league to - well, 19th actually!!! His last game was if the record book is correct, that 4-1 hammering by Stafford in the F.A. Cup. Perhaps he would have benefited from having a Keith Scott beside him instead of a David Gipp? Only a thought!!!

No one ever said that Les Thompson was the answer to the left back spot, sir, and since the Board employ me to run the Football Club then who I pick and who I leave out is entirely up to me. When I consistently get it wrong, the supporters will soon let me know, the Board will act accordingly and you can post your application as hastily as you send me your well thought out letters. ‘Not all brickbats, you know.' God knows what you would be writing about if things were going badly!!!

Please forgive my cynicism but the conversation you had with your friend after seeing two different views of the West Bromwich Albion Cup match must have been spell-binding. Ironically the critics said that our mistake in that game was to attempt to 'out-football' one of the best footballing sides around. Again I apologise to you now for asking Steve Guppy that day to spoon a corner into the air to enable Creaser to head a goal for us. Did you see all the West Bromwich Albion players go straight to the referee to complain that the goal shouldn't have counted because the ball was in the air? Maybe that's what your friend saw from the stand? Remarkably we have gained a reputation throughout the country as one of the best non-League footballing teams seen for quite some time. Not enough for your good self obviously. Oh by the way you've mentioned West, Hutchinson, Sir Matt, John Kerr, Les Thompson and Kevin Richardson as players to choose. I am earnestly hoping you have left room for Hyde, Cousins, Ryan (Ryan Ryan Ryan), Andy Kerr, Steve Thompson, the erstwhile 'ponderous' Scott, Steve Guppy blimey, that's 13 already without even mentioning Creaser and Stapleton, when fit, and David Carroll although you may not want him anyway. I must nip in and ask John Carroll if he wouldn't mind us playing 16 or 17 players tonight just so you can get all your selections on display. Fitting them all in and playing with small, quick and therefore, according to your good self, real spirited forwards should win you any game you like. Bring on AC Milan, I say now.

Finally do your remember the next game played by those teams who have discovered how to beat Wycombe - that growing band of seven teams, including West Bromwich Albion who have managed to do so this season? Kettering, of the beautifully worked moves, got hammered by Merthyr Tydfil the following Tuesday evening, Boston 2-0 at home to Gateshead, and Sutton lost 4-0 at home to - oh yes, Wycombe Wanderers.

Your comments, sir, I treat with the disdain they deserve. The only reason I may watch some of tonight's game from the stand is, ironically enough, not because of your good self but because of another gentleman who needs little introduction at this club. I am afraid I will not be answering any more personal entreaties this season. I just hope you can put up with this shapeless football for a little while longer, sir. I also hope you are as good at your own chosen profession as I am at mine. In all this commotion I almost clean forgot. If the result at Slough has gone reasonably well on Tuesday night we might be playing for the Vauxhall Conference Championship tonight.

Martin O'Neill

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Keith Alexander and Chester City

As stated already, when Chester first appointed Mark Wright as their manager, owner Stephen Vaughan asked me what I thought of Wright.

I wasn't very complimentary about Wright, specifically his attitude to people - including myself.

Keith Alexander had also applied for the job. At the time he was director of coaching at Lincoln City.

Out of the blue Alexander called me up to ask what I knew about the vacant post at the Deva Stadium. I told him I thought Wright would get it.

Alexander asked me not to report the fact that he had applied as he had not been back at Lincoln long and he appreciated their offer of work. But he was obviously keen to get back into management full-time.

I agreed, only for Vaughan to mention his name to the local Chester press.

A year or so earlier I saw Alexander at an England semi-professional side at Altrincham's Moss Lane ground. As the Northwich Victoria boss, he was scouting for non-league talent. He was one of the few managers I saw there that night.

We spoke several times subsequently mostly by phone. He was not averse to returning my call from his Caribbean holidays. He operated above and beyond the call of duty. Certainly above the level of Mark Wright who would often ask me to call him back when he was at his gym in Southport and then just ignore my call.

In 2008 Alexander took over as boss of Macclesfield. Earlier this month (March 2, 2010) he passed away after Macclesfield's1-0 defeat away at Notts County. He was 53.

If you look at life being about having the pleasure of meeting people then Alexander was one of those people who made life a pleasure.

I enjoyed following his career. He was brilliant at spotting lower league talent. He put effort into his football, he put effort into treating people well.

Tributes came flooding in. Everyone respected him.

By a strange twist of fate I also spent a week in Tobago with his delightful sister, who showed me round the island on behalf of the tourist board. She is as nice as he was. Lovely family.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Chester City and Stephen Vaughan – Part II

Now I’m going to take you back to June 26, 2001 – the first time I met Stephen Vaughan. At the time he had just become involved with east Manchester club Droylsden, owned and managed by Dave Pace (who remains in his dual role today).

In the summer of 2001, as I sat in the Butcher’s Arms stand with Vaughan and Pace, UniBond club Barrow’s future was far from secure. Scouser Vaughan was bullish and forthright, as he was in all our subsequent conversations. Vaughan has a reputation to be scared of. I heard stories before or meeting, I still hear them today. But he speaks honestly, respectfully and was always contactable – all the things a journalist appreciates. 

Stephen Vaughan feature
26 June 2001
by Garry Cook

Furious former Barrow chairman Stephen Vaughan has finally hit out at critics of his controversial reign at Holker Street.

In an exclusive interview, Vaughan has laid into current Bluebirds chairman Brian Keen and his board for their handling of the club which was booted out of the Conference in 1999.

Vaughan is angry at what he sees as an orchestrated campaign to dirty his name and heap the blame for the club’s problems firmly at his feet.

But the Liverpool-based boxing promoter, now a director at fellow Unibond club Droylsden where his business partner Dave Pace is the chairman, wants to put the record straight on his time at Holker Street, the legal problems the club has gone through since then and his real plans for the club’s future.

Sitting in the Butcher’s Arms club bar, his new home, Vaughan blasted: “Brian Keen says he has got no animosity towards me, well I have towards him and anybody else who thinks they have walked all over me up there. He has slandered my name on several occasions.

“They set out to stitch me up, which they’ve done. This is about people attempting to hang me out to dry.

“People didn’t expect me to be sitting around speaking with you now. As far as they were concerned, as they have said in a number of articles I will be dealing with, I was going to prison. Now, I might go to prison over something else I’ve done, but I won’t be going to prison over anything that’s gone on up there.”

While chairman of Barrow, Vaughan was arrested as part of an investigation into his investment of Barrow, and ownership of eleven acres of land, an office block, wine bar and a number of terraced houses. The investigation by Customs & Excise and the National Crime Unit was linked to Vaughan’s association with notorious jailed drug dealer Curtis Warren.

Vaughan said: “Nobody has come and charged with me anything and it’s gone on for two-and-a-half years. I’ve proved to the bodies concerned where the source of my monies came from. There’s nothing to charge me with. My association with Mr Warren was that I purchased a land cruiser from him. I also sold him a property.”

The former Barrow chairman makes no excuses for the company he keeps stating: “The clientele that goes with boxing attracts a lot of gangsters. I haven’t got a problem being associated with those people – I’d rather rub shoulders with them any day.”

Since Vaughan’s departure from Holker Street, the club has gone into liquidation and been thrown out of the Conference. But he says the club’s downfall is not of his doing. He is eager to point out that the club went into liquidation several months after he handed over the reigns to Phil Cowing and David Murgatroyd.

He said: “Cowing put the company into liquidation, him and Murgatroyd. I never took out of Barrow, I put in. I resigned from Barrow to deal with my own personal life after four years of substantial investment. Whatever my businesses are or whatever I’m supposed to be has got nothing to do with the fact that Barrow Football Club went into liquidation. I pumped money into Barrow and, as any chairman will tell you, the only way to keep a football club running, you’ve got to have a nice thick wallet. If they haven’t, tell them to forget it, because I have.”

He added: “I know why they got thrown out of the Conference – because they wouldn’t personally guarantee the debt.

“If it was me and Dave Pace in there we would have personally guaranteed that debt. I’ve done nothing that any other chairman hasn’t done. The debt incurred at Barrow Football Club was accumulated over the years. There were debts when I took over.

“The Conference threw Barrow Football Club out because they didn’t comply with the rules. Who is he [Keen] to break the rulebook? Who is this man? He’s taken on the Conference and lost and got the club relegated. Why couldn’t they just back-up the personal guarantees that were required to stay in the Conference? If he wants to be Mr Chairman, Mr Chairman has got to start spending money.

“They tried to dump the debt and set up and form a new company and take the affiliation of the company that they had dumped. When you buy a company you buy its assets and debts – that’s the way it works. You don’t go in and say ‘let’s start off today with not one penny owed here.’ That would be the ideal situation for the lot of us.”

Vaughan’s argument is that if those that controlled the club after him had continued to pay the club’s creditors with the £1,100 monthly Company Voluntary Arrangement he put into place, Barrow would not be in the mess it is today.

He has also vowed to return to the club once its legal wrangle is sorted out. He warned: “I’m saying to anyone in Cumbria that it is my intention to come back and purchase that place. I’ll lease it back to the club ands they can play football at Holker Street.

“If I fail in purchasing the Stadium, I’m going to make sure that someone pays the market rate, if not over, to outbid me. Brian Keen and anybody up there who thinks they’ve seen the back of me had better start thinking again. Brian Keen thinks he’s Jesus Christ but he’ll need more than bread and water to keep me away.”

And Vaughan is adamant that Barrow will never be under threat under his ownership. He has quashed rumours that he will sell the ground to supermarket chain Asda. Four years ago Vaughan negotiated a 21-year option worth £100,000 with Asda which gives them first option on Holker Street. But he insists that the deal was struck by Asda only to ensure that the ground was not sold to another retailer.

Vaughan has been so incensed by his misrepresentation that he even offered to publish his personal phone number to allow Barrow fans to discuss these issues with him. Addressing them he said: “The supporters have kept the club going, kept it afloat. I want them to know I have no hidden agenda, I am a fan too.”

Vaughan believes he will become the owner of the Holker Street ground after the conclusion of the club’s High Court case next January. He has already conceded with the liquidator that the sale of Holker Street to his company Northern Improvements was undervalued.

But with the liquidator likely to have to sell the ground to clear debts with creditors Cherry Tree Finance and Cumbria Business Group, Vaughan says he is well placed to return to the club he describes as his first love.

“If the liquidator says he wants to call Holker Street back to give it to Barrow Football Club he gives it back to me as the major shareholder,” explains Vaughan. “Me, as the major shareholder, will have to sell that stadium’s assets to pay of the creditors. I am the most substantial creditor. So I have an equitable right to redeem that loan before anybody else.”

He added: “I purchased the stadium for £410,000. What the liquidator said was that because only £110,000 changed hands, it was undervalued. But £300,000 had come in [to the club] through Northern Improvements [Vaughan’s company] and Stephen Vaughan personally. That makes me a preferential creditor.

“You’ve got a stadium that’s been sold to me. I don’t take any rent, so they say ‘let’s try and turn this over’. So they turn it over back to the shareholders. They give it back to the person they’ve just taken it off. You have to sell to satisfy the creditors – and the most substantial creditor is me again. I’m waiting with my hand out no matter which way it goes.

“So it’s like a bullying tactic. It’s only red tape. I’m not trying to justify myself – that’s exactly what I did. All this bollocks about fraud. It probably is red tape fraud, but it’s only a civil matter.

“Outside authorities got in my way, otherwise Barrow would have been in the Football League. All I did from the minute I went into the gates was build a brand new stand and build the stadium into Grade A criteria.  What I haven’t done for that club isn’t worth talking about. I built Barrow from a company that was going nowhere into a Conference club and the fact they went into liquidation was through no fault of mine.”

Ends.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Chester City vs Barrow, Stephen Vaughan vs Terry Smith

I’ve watched the demise of Chester City (in 2010) from a distance.
At the moment (late February) the club is on the brink of liquidation after a catalogue of financial crises.

Central to the story is their owner – technically former owner now – Stephen Vaughan who rescued the club from the disastrous ownership of previous incumbent Terry Smith almost a decade ago.

I interviewed American Smith after he appointed himself as Chester manager, a move which ultimately led to relegation from the Football League.

There was total joy amongst most long-suffering Chester fans when Vaughan took over from the hapless Smith.

I knew Vaughan before he took over as Chester boss. He had become involved behind the scenes at Dave Pace’s UniBond outfit Droylsden.

Previously, he was the owner of non-league Barrow when a financial clash with the authorities led to that club being liquidated and thrown out of the Conference.

In interviews Vaughan was as equally unapologetic about his treatment of Barrow as those Bluebirds fans were in their hatred of him.

I found Vaughan a very personable man to deal with. He could not have been more helpful to me. I was one of the first people he called after his shock takeover of Chester. Believe me it was a shock.

He even asked me what I thought of Mark Wright when he was considering appointing the former England defender as manager. I told him Wright’s attitude to people left a lot to be desired. Vaughan appointed him, on three separate occasions as it turned out.

The similarities in what has occurred at Chester and what did unfold at Barrow are frightening.

As a special treat for my readers I will publish several article and interviews I’ve done connected with Chester City Football Club. Coming soon are some Stephen Vaughan features, but first a September 28, 2001, statement from the then out-going chairman Smith.

PICTURED: Vaughan (left) with Smith

Terry Smith statement
28 September 2001
by Garry Cook

Outgoing Chester chairman Terry Smith finally did what no Chester fan ever thought he would – apologise.

Smith issued a statement after wrapping up the sale of the club to Stephen Vaughan admitting “The buck stops with me.”

He wished Vaughan success with the club that he guided for two years and said: “At least I have given Chester City Football Club the opportunity to fight another day, and that is better for the supporters than having no club at all.

“I accept the complete blame for this failure but at least I was able to bridge the gap between what would have been definite liquidation and a bright future.

“There will be many memories that I will one day be able to cherish. I thank everyone in Chester whose thoughtful kindness and friendship brought about these fond memories for me.

“I will be waiting everyday for moment that I will be able to sleep soundly and feel good again when I read Steve has led you back into the Football League. I know he will.”

But far from retiring from football, Smith has spent last week trying to launch a bizarre ‘World Football Scouting Bureau.’

Using the Chester City logo to promote the venture, Smith was last week promising young players the chance of professional careers in England, Wales, Scotland, American and Europe by attending ‘Evaluation Camps.’

The camps, due to be held in the Midlands and North-west yesterday and today promised that ‘all players will be measured and evaluated on athletic ability, playing ability, intelligence tests and tactical knowledge.’

One Chester fan contacted the Bureau and got through to Smith, but the American denied any involvement with the project.

Ends.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Arsenal were once a big side

Arsene Wenger's Arsenal.

They were once the most athletic side in the Premier League. They won league titles, refused to let the opposition out-muscle them and displayed skill levels rarely seen in Britain.

Somewhere along the way the Gunners have, quite literally, lost their big players - those six-footers who added power to the side's undoubted skill.

Now Wenger, still the second-best manager of his generation after Sir Alex Ferguson, presides over a side of incredibly skillful dwarves - pleasing on the eye but dismissively brushed aside like a piece of fluff on a Barbour jacket.

Without Wenger I'm sure Arsenal would be in a far worse position than they are now. He's managed the side admirably on a far tighter budget than Manchester United, Chelsea and now Manchester City.

But the man who pioneered the acquisition of the incredible black (often African) athletes into the English Premier League, a formula which Harry Redknapp copied to FA Cup-winning success at Portsmouth, somewhere along the way misplaced his winning formula.

I could watch Andrei Arshavin, Samir Nasri, Theo Walcott and Cesc Fabregas all day.

But without players in the mould of Thierry Henry, Sol Campbell (previous version), Edu, Patrick Vieira (very previous version), Gilberto Silva alongside them, they could play all day and not win any matches.

Even sub-six-footers Kolo Toure and Lauren would be a help.

By the way, Wenger also needs a world class keeper.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Manchester United and Bishop Auckland by Garry Cook

[WARNING: This is a long article]

It's not often you hear Bishop Auckland mentioned in the same breath as Manchester United. Let's be honest, you've never heard Bishop Auckland mentioned in the same breath as Manchester United. In fact, the only question you're asking now is, 'where the hell is Bishop Auckland?'

Well, as a United fan you should know because this club owes the tiny Durham mining town a huge debt of gratitude.

Fifty years ago, in United's darkest hour The Bishop came to the rescue. The Munich air crash in February 1958 will forever be remembered as one of the most tragic days in British football, when eight of the Busby Babes were tragically killed.

In the immediate aftermath of the disaster, Busby, himself a survivor, quickly began thinking about rebuilding his Babes. The United manager knew he needed some experienced legs to help with the development of the clubs new wave of youngsters.

From his hospital bed where he was still fighting for his life, Busby's thoughts turned to Bishop Auckland. He whispered to his assistant Jimmy Murphy 'send for Bob Hardisty.'

Hardisty, Bishops greatest ever player, was an old friend of Busby. And despite being 37 and retired he, along with fellow players Derek Lewin and Warren Bradley, went to Old Trafford to become lynch-pins in Busby's United rescue plan. Even goalkeeper Harry Sharratt was called in to coach the Reds.

As it happened, United's first game after the terrible crash was an emotionally charged reserve game at Old Trafford watched by 27,000 fans. Hardisty, Lewin and Bradley were part of the side. Though the trio had joined to help build United's future, Bradley in particular found the move from Northern League to First Division seamless and went on to star for United's first team and win England honours - the only Englishman to win amateur and full international caps.

Bradley, originally from Hyde, joined United on a part-time basis at the age of 24. He got a job as a teacher in Stretford and went on to score 20 goals in 63 appearances for the club. He even played against Real Madrid for United after spending the day teaching. He died last year, aged 73.

The beginnings of the greatest Northern League side lie at Auckland Castle, the home of the Bishop of Durham and where theological students from Oxford and Cambridge were studying. The students formed Bishop Auckland Church from Auckland Town broke away, later to become Bishop Auckland FC.

Historically, this link between United and Bishop was not the first. Way back in 1906 the Manchester side won promotion to Division One with three ex-Bishops - Charlie Roberts, Jack Allan and Jimmy Marshall - among their ranks.

But undoubtedly it was the transfers of Hardisty, Bradley and Lewin that United will forever have United indebted to Bishops.

United went someway to paying that debt when Alex Ferguson sent a side to Kingsway in 1996 for a benefit match which helped save the club when it found itself being sued by a Macclesfield player, injured during a game between the two sides.

Former Auckland chairman and current secretary Tony Duffy recalls: "We had to raise £30,000 in 28 days to settle out of court. A 'Save The Bishops' campaign was started in the Northern Echo and Alex Ferguson got to hear about it.

"They sent up a team, and a sizeable cheque, which really helped us out. Brian McClair brought the team up which included the likes of Paul Scholes and Nicky Butt to Kingsway. Gary Pallister also came to sign autographs. It was excellent.

"I bumped into Alex Ferguson at Old Trafford years later when he was doing the FA Trophy quarter-final draw. He knew all about the players who used to play for us, the ones which helped them out after Munich."

The fact that the mighty Manchester United turned to Bishops in its hour of need is proof in itself of how highly Busby rated the side. But statistically, Bishops were THE side of the Northern League before leaving to join the UniBond Premier League in 1988.

Bishops won the Northern League on no less than 18 occasions over a 99 year period, with a further three Amateur titles. They are easily the most consistent team in its history. In fact, in one amazing nine year run from 1947 to 1956, the club never finished outside the top two in the league.

In those days the Amateur football which Bishops played was of a much higher standard than it is today. The Amateur Cup Final, which Bishops won three years in a row in 1955, 1956 and 1957, was watched by 90,000 of fans at Wembley.

Bishops first league success came in the 1898/99 season, out-performing both Middlesbrough and Darlington in a remarkable year which saw them go unbeaten in the league.

Since 1900 Bishops - or the Two Blues - have gone through patches of success unparalleled by other clubs. They won the league twice in succession in 1901 and 1902 and then won once more in the 1908/09 season, beating South Bank 3-2 in a play-off at Stockton. The club's further league successes in 1910 and 1912 made it six championship seasons in only fourteen years.

Even when the club did not win the title they were nearly always in the running. Until the sixties, Bishops only finished outside the top ten in the league on one occasion.

Fixture list problems are a persistent moan of managers at all levels today, but if those same club bosses had to endure the grueling end to Auckland's 1936/37 season, they would not be so quick to voice their discontent.

Bishops finished runners-up that year after playing no less than eighteen games in 18 days - all without defeat. And that was not unusual. The following season, in which they were crowned champions, Bishops players appeared in fourteen games in 18 days.

And yet again in the 1938/39 season, the club faced another end-of-season fixture marathon of ten games in 11 days. And after recording six wins and two draws in their eight league games, the side grabbed the championship by a point from Shildon.

At this time, the club had none other than Liverpool legend Bob Paisley among its ranks. Paisley was outstanding during this ten-game match-a-day run, though he missed the Durham Challenge Cup Final through injury.

But his performances had done enough to catch the eye of the Merseyside club and soon after the end of the season, Liverpool came in for him. As with Manchester United, a Bishop Auckland player was the catalyst in creating a footballing dynasty at one of the world's most famous sides.

While at the Two Blues, Paisley earned his money as a bricklayer and he once commented: "During that time where we were playing a match every day I fell asleep on the scaffold after the midday break, and the lads just let me sleep on, and only woke me up when it was finishing time." Such scenes are unthinkable now.

When club chairman Coun. J G Waine was asked about the sides success he remarked: "No snobbery, a miner has the same chance as an undergraduate. Each player is chosen on merit. Has to be a top class 90-minute player. We try to cultivate good honest football, not kick and rush. Foster team spirit."

If 1966 was a great year for English football, it was a groundbreaking year for Bishop Auckland when they appointed their first 'real' manager. Manager's did not pick the team. Bishops had always used their committee to pick the team.

The decision to hand over full control to one man was a big one, but they could not have made a better choice than the education clerk from Gateshead Council, Lawrie McMenemy.

The young manager turned around their fortunes, guiding the Two Blues to third in the league in '66 and then to the domestic treble of League, League Cup and County Cup the year after.

Though Auckland went through another period of mediocrity after that, McMenemy never looked back, moving on to coach at Sheffield Wednesday (under Alan Brown) before managing outright at Doncaster, Grimsby, Southampton and Sunderland.

The Northern league said goodbye to its most successful side in 1988 when Bishops joined the Pyramid system in 1988. Within six seasons the club had managed to win promotion to the Premier Division, finishing a creditable fourth in their first season in that league. Under boss Tony Lee had they managed to grab the UniBond runners-up spot.

Ex-chairman Duffy, a devout England supporter who follows England around the world, saw his first Two Blues game in 1962. In the clubs recent history, he says the FA Cup run of 1989 stands out.

"We have had some good Trophy moments, like Stafford Rangers in the quarter finals, but the FA Cup is the big one. Our biggest game in recent years was in the second round and we drew 1-1 at Crewe," says Duffy. "In the mean time the third round draw was made and the winners of our game were to face Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. But we lost the midweek replay 2-0 at home."

Recent history has not been so kind to Bishops with a ground move, scheduled for 2002, failing to come to fruition. The move a mile-and-a-half across town to a new 10,000 capacity, £1,250,000 stadium was intended to give the club a chance of getting into the Conference - or Blue Square Premier as it is now. Instead the club were demoted for the first time in their history on the grounds of not having, er, a ground suitable for UniBond football.

In 2006 they slipped back into the Northern League, effectively back where they started all those years ago. Managed by ex-pro Brian Honour, they are currently third from bottom in Division One.

While their new ground has suffered a series of delays, Bishops have been homeless. They have spent some time at Spennymoor's Brewery Field and currently play at nearby Shildon's Dean Street ground.

But the links with United remain. And when Durham County Council finally give the go-ahead for their new stadium it will be illuminated with a set of floodlights donated by United in recognition of the three players they loaned out to Old Trafford in 1958.

THE PLAYERS

Bobby Hardisty was, without doubt, the greatest player ever to play for the Two Blues. On the football pitch, his talent was immense. But his refusal to accept 'boot money' deserves equal respect. In the days of the maximum wage in professional football, the way to make money in football was to play for an amateur side where illegal cash-in-hand payments were commonplace.

Throughout his playing career both for Bishops and Shildon, who he joined for a year in 1946, Hardisty always refused even legitimate expenses, never mind the boot money. He referred to players who accepted these payments as 'sharks.'

Perhaps the best way to gauge Hardisty's brilliance is through the respected BBC commentator Raymond Glendenning who picked Hardisty for his Team of the Season in 1954. But this was not an Amateur eleven, it was a full-blooded nationwide side. He picked Hardisty ahead of Tommy Docherty, Danny Blanchflower, Billy Wright and Ken Armstrong.

In the mists of history and the growth of the Football League, Hardisty might have been forgotten. But no one can claim not to have heard of the likes of Blanchflower and Docherty, yet here is Hardisty being spoken of as better.

His playing career started at the tender age of 17 and lasted 21 years, gaining every honour possible in amateur football. Hardisty, who also played cricket for Auckland, was selected to represent Britain for three Olympic Games and won fifteen International caps for England. He also played in six Amateur Cup finals at Wembley, winning on three occasions, and picked up six Northern League Championship medals. The town even named a new roadway - the Bobby Hardisty Drive - after him.

His best position was at half back, though he could also play as an inside forward or centre forward.

Hardisty first met Matt Busby at Bede College in Durham. At the time Busby was playing for Middlesbrough and managed to get Hardisty a game. He also did the same when Hardisty was stationed at Dalmahoy in Scotland during World War Two, arranging games with Hibernian.

But it was not until he was 37 years old that Hardisty got the call from Busby to come to Manchester United. As manager of Britains Olympic side, Busby also asked Hardisty to be captain, a role he had previously refused at Auckland.

"I felt I could give more to the team without the responsibility of being captain," said Hardisty later. "But I was very proud to captain Great Britain in the Olympic Games."

Hardisty appeared in the 1948 Olympics in London, the Helsinki Olympics of 1952 and the 1956 Olympics in Melbourne, Australia.

Out of all the honours Hardisty won, the final piece of the jigsaw was his Amateur Cup winners' medal. For a time, Hardisty must have thought that he was never going to get one around his neck. You can hardly blame him - he was part of the Bishops side which lost three Cup Finals at Wembley in the space of five years (1950, 1951 and 1954).

But in 1955, all that was to change. In this newspaper excerpt, the brilliance of Hardisty is remembered:

'Auckland's followers will remember Lewin, Hardisty and Cresswell for many a day. Above all, the crowd will remember Hardisty walking up to get his medal. It was the moment that fused the Northern and Southern ranks. They were, after all, just football followers, and glad that one of the game's greatest players had achieved his final ambition.'

As a coach, Hardisty saw success too. He passed an FA training course to become one of only six FA staff coaches in the country. Wilf Mannion and Stanley Matthews both failed the same course. Crook were to benefit from his excellence in this field - Hardisty led them to Amateur Cup success in 1959, the same year he left Bishops.

However, on a slightly less successful note, and a lesson to all meddling club owners across the country, Hardisty ultimately failed when he took over the manager's reigns at Kingsway. In 1961 Bishops recorded four straight wins in the Amateur Cup to take them to the semi-finals. But in extraordinary circumstances, the club committee, which still had the final say on team selection, changed the team which Hardisty had picked at a Monday night meeting.

After Hardisty left the meeting, chairman Bob Middlewood kept the committeemen back for an hour and persuaded them to agree to include Seamus O'Connell in the first eleven. Hardisty had left him out believing he was unfit through injury. Bishops lost 2-1 and Hardisty never managed them again.

In 1985 circulatory problems forced Hardisty to have his right leg amputated, but he remained mobile and continued to watch Bishops play until his death a few years later.

Hardisty could celebrate with the best of them, as he did so after the Amateur Cup success of 1957. However, after a trip up to Newcastle's Tyne Tees Television studios, Hardisty arrived back home in Bishop Auckland having lost the Cup. Unable to remember where he had put it, Hardisty was a relieved man when it turned up several days later in the boot of the Sports Editor's car.

THE GOALKEEPER

If any one player suffered through the success of Bishops in the 50's, it was goalkeeper Harry Sharratt - mainly because he had nothing to do. During that time Sharratt developed a reputation as a joker.

On one occasion, during an Amateur Cup game against Kingstonian, where Auckland were 12-0 up, he played up front in an attempt to score a goal. He never did, but Kingstonian got three back while he was playing as a striker.

In another game, a freezing Boxing Day game against Shildon, he famously built a snowman in the goal mouth.

"It's all true," Sharratt said. "We were winning four or five to nil. I was freezing so I decided to build myself a snowman."

And did he ever score? "Yes I did," he remembers. "I took a penalty once. It was in a local cup competition. It wasn't a good moment, though. Their goalie should have saved it because I hit it straight at him. It didn't go where I intended it to."

Sharratt's near twelve-year spell from 1953 until 1964 ran alongside the club's greatest period of success.

Now 70 and living at Kirby Lonsdale, he names player like Booby Hardisty, Seamus O'Connell and Corbett Cresswell as the best at the club. "Cresswell was a very good centre half," he recalls. "He was one of the best, he was immaculate." But he adds: "I do think that the team we had virtually picked itself, the players were so good."

Sharratt, who previously played for his home town club Wigan, came to Auckland from Blackpool. He was studying at Leeds but because he worked on Saturday mornings he could not get back to Blackpool. However, one Bob Hardisty to come to the rescue by offering a lift from Yorkshire every week in his car.

Sharratt was offered the chance to turn to professional with Middlesbrough and also helped Stockport County out on occasion, but never thought about leaving Auckland. His reason for staying so loyal sums up the attitude of footballers in that era. "I was just happy, very happy to play for Bishop. It was just one happy weekend when we played, a great camaraderie."