British Sport

Premier League footballers in panto cartoon fun

2011-12-20T16:53:00.000Z

This sporting blog brings to you thisfestive season the ghost of Christmas past.

What we have here are images from the calendar of the now defunct weekly magazine 90 Minutes (published by IPC).

The year was 1995 or 1996. The cartoonist is brilliant. His copyright goes to all cartoons.

Here we go and Merry Christmas:

Martin O'Neill programme notes

2011-12-05T18:00:00.001Z

Martin O'Neill has just been appointed Sunderland AFC manager.

Printed below is a copy of his programme notes from his time as manager of Wycombe Wanderers.

They are long, they are brilliant. For Sunderland fans, they are a must read.

Here goes:

Thank you for making Saturday an unforgettable day in the history of Wycombe Wanderers Football Club. Not only did you make it like a home game for us but you were worth the proverbial goal start. On behalf of the players, a massive thanks to all of you who made the journey to Sutton. Wembley here we come again. Over the past few seasons I have received all sorts of letters, some complimentary, others less so, some misguidedly well meaning, others embarrassingly patronising but I don't think I've ever been so upset as I was with the following letter written by a Vice President (name and address supplied) last week.

Dear Martin, Having watched Wycombe struggle against Boston, Sutton and now Woking I have decided to drop you a line again. I appreciate that we have lost our backbone for these games (central defence Glyn Creaser centre midfielder Stapes centre forward Scotty, not to mention Sir Matt for the first two) but the inspired display against Dagenham has been followed by lacklustre displays since. The effort and endeavour is still there but the shape has gone. I simply cannot understand the logic of dragging off Mark West against Sutton to give the now lamentable Dennis Greene his place, whilst to give him two minutes against Woking defies logic or exudes panic.

Simon Hutchinson for a good half of last season was totally ineffective, yet this season when he at last is displaying his true form he is relegated to 15 minute appearances. Did it escape your attention that against D & R we had a small forward line and played with real spirit when Dave Carroll went.

To couple Westy with Trevor Aylott is to combine a thoroughbred with a carthorse. I am sure Trevor Aylott was a good player and he still shows deft touches now and then, but he has no pace and does not look fully fit. The tactics of hooking the ball in the air for him to win are even more sterile than with Scotty because for all his size Keith Scott is actually very quick, whereas Trevor Aylott is potentially not.

Tim Langford is the worst header of a ball I have seen, so that his positive attribute has to be pace. He has this but he lacks ball control at the crucial moments - in other words he is like Dennis Greene. John Kerr was playing for Chertsey earlier this season and gave by all accounts a superb display last Saturday for Millwall - did you try to sign him!

The referee last night may have done you an unwitting favour by asking you to leave the pitch - if you sit in the stands higher up it looks easier (which it's not) but the pluses and minuses of the team are clearer to see. I know if is difficult for you not to be on the line but sometimes getting so involved at such a close level is counter productive. I suppose the alternative is to look at the videos of the game afterwards, but of course these are selective in their coverage.

I am not suggesting any more than one match viewing the game at a higher level. Against West Bromwich Albion I stood on the rails exactly opposite you. My friend watched the game on Sky TV. When I spoke to him on Monday morning his view of the game, the players and the way the match went was vastly different to mine - I subsequently saw the video and could understand his comments on the amount of possession, and the performances of both West Brom and Wycombe players.

What has happened to Kim Casey and Les Thompson? Kim seems to be either unfit or to have lost his bottle his injury probably wouldn't have happened if he hadn't ducked away from the ball. Les Thompson was supposed to be our solution to the left back problem but after his roasting a week or so ago he has vanished. It seems our team will be Hyde: then Ryan Ryan Ryan Ryan forthe back four with occasional appearances in midfield if our injuries and suspensions get any worse.

The opposition have discovered how to beat and contain Wycombe - keep the ball on the deck. Kettering's goals were beautifully worked, whilst Sutton and Boston made inroads repeatedly into Wycombe's defence by doing this. Andy Kerr, Matt, Anton and Glyn Creaser are all superb headers of a ball so that it is futile for the opposition to leather the ball upfield, where our back four gobble it up. Unfortunately too often it is spooned in the opposite direction. Perhaps a sweeper like Richardson of Bromsgrove who controlled, and settled the back four may be called for? I enjoyed your meeting last season with the V.P. and Leagueline members. Will there be a repeat? It's not all brickbats you know.
Best wishes for the next gruelling fortnight and beyond.
Yours sincerely

Perhaps, Sir the shape of a team comes from the "backbone", which you have admitted yourself has been decimated by injury. If you actually admit such a thing, I don't therefore see your point. But to call the display against Boston lacklustre? Are you serious? You must have been the only one in the 4,500 crowd who felt that our performance which included missing a penalty, hitting the crossbar and scoring three goals was lacklustre. Do you have a dictionary handy? Against Sutton in the first semi-final we were defensively poor but, although I have learned not to deal in "if onlys", I felt that had Mark West scored a simple header to give us a 3-2 lead a few minutes before they actually got their third goal, we may well have won the home tie. The point I am making is that, from an attracting view point I doubt if our performance could have been described as lacklustre. Still, when it has really mattered this season the players have delivered - every time, so far! Did it escape YOUR notice sir that in that lacklustre display against Woking we played the last 25 minutes of the game with ten players, Cousins having been very harshly sent off for a challenge when he's actually played the ball, and David Carroll almost amputated by their centre half Nugent in their penalty box, with no penalty given - video evidence absolutely conclusive on both counts!!! We hung on resolutely for a much deserved point - a point which may ultimately clinch the championship for us.

At this point I apologise profusely to you on behalf of these teams, who, instead of posting us down the three points, actually turn up and try to prevent us from winning matches, which as you know, has become our divine right these last few seasons. How dare they field all eleven players, close us down, tackle and have not only the audacity to keep a clean sheet - as happened once this season at Adams Park - but also the temerity to score goals with `beautifully worked moves' like Sutton, Boston and Kettering. So far this year we have been breached 20 times in 27 games at Adams Park once every 121 minutes, so these beautiful moves are well worth waiting for- yet at the same time scored a paltry 62 goals here. Has it escaped your notice sir that we have scored more goals than any other team in England except Newcastle United who have played six more games and spent £7 million pounds more than us. Not all brickbats, you say!

I am also sorry that my substitutions and the timing of them are beyond your considerable but hardly Einsteinian comprehension. Very little that happens to my players on the field escapes my notice, sir. It also didn't escape my notice that your letter to me last year criticised the 'ponderous' Scott. Changed your mind a little, I see? Also in that same egregious epistle last year you wanted to know why we didn't play with small fast forwards like West, John Kerr and David Gipp. Pointing out that we did so in 1989/90 (before I arrived) and thrashed Runcorn 5-0, this particular game being an absolute treat to watch.

A feature of your writing sir, is to take an incident or game out of context, praise or vilify, as you see fit and then force some point home to suit your argument. I have checked that Runcorn result. You're right. Wycombe won 5-0. The previous game with the self same small, fast forward line, Wycombe lost 1-0 to Kettering. No goals? Must have been a lot of fun that? The following matches played with the same small, quick bright forwards read like this. in chronological order.

1-1 against Gravesend & Northfleet F.A. Cup
1-1 again (120 minutes) against the same team.
1-1 with Telford
*3-0 Victory against Gravesend & Northfleet
4-1 defeat by Stafford in the F.A. Cup
1-0 defeat by Chorley
and then 2-1 defeat at home to Yeovil.
* One victory in eight games with only seven goals scored (5 of them against Gravesend)! Do you see what I mean about taking something out of context?

Almost enough to get a manager the sack? Which reminds me. I got this job because Wycombe were lying 14th in the League and already out of the F.A. Trophy, beaten 3-1 at home to those giants of non-League football - the Metropolitan Police, in front of 1,100 people. If I feel annoyed with your letter then perhaps a few of the lads may be incensed by it. Kim Casey showed enough 'bottle' at Sutton or didn't you agree? Although Tim Langford has yet to settle in, he actually won the sponsors Man of the Match in that epic encounter with Slough a few weeks ago and Trevor Aylott, described by myself as having invented the world 'immobile' came on loan to us just before transfer deadline, when Scott injured himself, with no promise whatsoever of a game but prepared, if needed to lend a hand over the "gruelling" few weeks ahead. He was first into the dressing room at Sutton to congratulate the players in general and Keith Scott in particular.

You remark on the non-signing of John Kerr. The same John Kerr that played in that remarkable run of non-success that I mentioned earlier? The same John Kerr that decided he had done enough for this club and walked out of his own free will for greener pastures I am told?

Because Miliwall signed him that makes him a good player? I believe he used to play rather infrequently for Portsmouth. Why didn't they re-sign him? Why was he playing for Chertsey in the first place? Actually, I have never seen him play. I only wish now that I had been here for that splendid ten game spell he had with the Club that saw Wanderers go from 20th in the league to - well, 19th actually!!! His last game was if the record book is correct, that 4-1 hammering by Stafford in the F.A. Cup. Perhaps he would have benefited from having a Keith Scott beside him instead of a David Gipp? Only a thought!!!

No one ever said that Les Thompson was the answer to the left back spot, sir, and since the Board employ me to run the Football Club then who I pick and who I leave out is entirely up to me. When I consistently get it wrong, the supporters will soon let me know, the Board will act accordingly and you can post your application as hastily as you send me your well thought out letters. ‘Not all brickbats, you know.' God knows what you would be writing about if things were going badly!!!

Please forgive my cynicism but the conversation you had with your friend after seeing two different views of the West Bromwich Albion Cup match must have been spell-binding. Ironically the critics said that our mistake in that game was to attempt to 'out-football' one of the best footballing sides around. Again I apologise to you now for asking Steve Guppy that day to spoon a corner into the air to enable Creaser to head a goal for us. Did you see all the West Bromwich Albion players go straight to the referee to complain that the goal shouldn't have counted because the ball was in the air? Maybe that's what your friend saw from the stand? Remarkably we have gained a reputation throughout the country as one of the best non-League footballing teams seen for quite some time. Not enough for your good self obviously. Oh by the way you've mentioned West, Hutchinson, Sir Matt, John Kerr, Les Thompson and Kevin Richardson as players to choose. I am earnestly hoping you have left room for Hyde, Cousins, Ryan (Ryan Ryan Ryan), Andy Kerr, Steve Thompson, the erstwhile 'ponderous' Scott, Steve Guppy blimey, that's 13 already without even mentioning Creaser and Stapleton, when fit, and David Carroll although you may not want him anyway. I must nip in and ask John Carroll if he wouldn't mind us playing 16 or 17 players tonight just so you can get all your selections on display. Fitting them all in and playing with small, quick and therefore, according to your good self, real spirited forwards should win you any game you like. Bring on AC Milan, I say now.

Finally do your remember the next game played by those teams who have discovered how to beat Wycombe - that growing band of seven teams, including West Bromwich Albion who have managed to do so this season? Kettering, of the beautifully worked moves, got hammered by Merthyr Tydfil the following Tuesday evening, Boston 2-0 at home to Gateshead, and Sutton lost 4-0 at home to - oh yes, Wycombe Wanderers.

Your comments, sir, I treat with the disdain they deserve. The only reason I may watch some of tonight's game from the stand is, ironically enough, not because of your good self but because of another gentleman who needs little introduction at this club. I am afraid I will not be answering any more personal entreaties this season. I just hope you can put up with this shapeless football for a little while longer, sir. I also hope you are as good at your own chosen profession as I am at mine. In all this commotion I almost clean forgot. If the result at Slough has gone reasonably well on Tuesday night we might be playing for the Vauxhall Conference Championship tonight.

Martin O'Neill

Keith Alexander and Chester City

2010-03-16T16:22:00.000Z

As stated already, when Chester first appointed Mark Wright as their manager, owner Stephen Vaughan asked me what I thought of Wright.

I wasn't very complimentary about Wright, specifically his attitude to people - including myself.

Keith Alexander had also applied for the job. At the time he was director of coaching at Lincoln City.

Out of the blue Alexander called me up to ask what I knew about the vacant post at the Deva Stadium. I told him I thought Wright would get it.

Alexander asked me not to report the fact that he had applied as he had not been back at Lincoln long and he appreciated their offer of work. But he was obviously keen to get back into management full-time.

I agreed, only for Vaughan to mention his name to the local Chester press.

A year or so earlier I saw Alexander at an England semi-professional side at Altrincham's Moss Lane ground. As the Northwich Victoria boss, he was scouting for non-league talent. He was one of the few managers I saw there that night.

We spoke several times subsequently mostly by phone. He was not averse to returning my call from his Caribbean holidays. He operated above and beyond the call of duty. Certainly above the level of Mark Wright who would often ask me to call him back when he was at his gym in Southport and then just ignore my call.

In 2008 Alexander took over as boss of Macclesfield. Earlier this month (March 2, 2010) he passed away after Macclesfield's1-0 defeat away at Notts County. He was 53.

If you look at life being about having the pleasure of meeting people then Alexander was one of those people who made life a pleasure.

I enjoyed following his career. He was brilliant at spotting lower league talent. He put effort into his football, he put effort into treating people well.

Tributes came flooding in. Everyone respected him.

By a strange twist of fate I also spent a week in Tobago with his delightful sister, who showed me round the island on behalf of the tourist board. She is as nice as he was. Lovely family.

Chester City and Stephen Vaughan – Part II

2010-02-24T17:52:00.003Z

Now I’m going to take you back to June 26, 2001 – the first time I met Stephen Vaughan. At the time he had just become involved with east Manchester club Droylsden, owned and managed by Dave Pace (who remains in his dual role today).

In the summer of 2001, as I sat in the Butcher’s Arms stand with Vaughan and Pace, UniBond club Barrow’s future was far from secure. Scouser Vaughan was bullish and forthright, as he was in all our subsequent conversations. Vaughan has a reputation to be scared of. I heard stories before or meeting, I still hear them today. But he speaks honestly, respectfully and was always contactable – all the things a journalist appreciates.

Stephen Vaughan feature

26 June 2001

by Garry Cook

Furious former Barrow chairman Stephen Vaughan has finally hit out at critics of his controversial reign at Holker Street.

In an exclusive interview, Vaughan has laid into current Bluebirds chairman Brian Keen and his board for their handling of the club which was booted out of the Conference in 1999.

Vaughan is angry at what he sees as an orchestrated campaign to dirty his name and heap the blame for the club’s problems firmly at his feet.

But the Liverpool-based boxing promoter, now a director at fellow Unibond club Droylsden where his business partner Dave Pace is the chairman, wants to put the record straight on his time at Holker Street, the legal problems the club has gone through since then and his real plans for the club’s future.

Sitting in the Butcher’s Arms club bar, his new home, Vaughan blasted: “Brian Keen says he has got no animosity towards me, well I have towards him and anybody else who thinks they have walked all over me up there. He has slandered my name on several occasions.

“They set out to stitch me up, which they’ve done. This is about people attempting to hang me out to dry.

“People didn’t expect me to be sitting around speaking with you now. As far as they were concerned, as they have said in a number of articles I will be dealing with, I was going to prison. Now, I might go to prison over something else I’ve done, but I won’t be going to prison over anything that’s gone on up there.”

While chairman of Barrow, Vaughan was arrested as part of an investigation into his investment of Barrow, and ownership of eleven acres of land, an office block, wine bar and a number of terraced houses. The investigation by Customs & Excise and the National Crime Unit was linked to Vaughan’s association with notorious jailed drug dealer Curtis Warren.

Vaughan said: “Nobody has come and charged with me anything and it’s gone on for two-and-a-half years. I’ve proved to the bodies concerned where the source of my monies came from. There’s nothing to charge me with. My association with Mr Warren was that I purchased a land cruiser from him. I also sold him a property.”

The former Barrow chairman makes no excuses for the company he keeps stating: “The clientele that goes with boxing attracts a lot of gangsters. I haven’t got a problem being associated with those people – I’d rather rub shoulders with them any day.”

Since Vaughan’s departure from Holker Street, the club has gone into liquidation and been thrown out of the Conference. But he says the club’s downfall is not of his doing. He is eager to point out that the club went into liquidation several months after he handed over the reigns to Phil Cowing and David Murgatroyd.

He said: “Cowing put the company into liquidation, him and Murgatroyd. I never took out of Barrow, I put in. I resigned from Barrow to deal with my own personal life after four years of substantial investment. Whatever my businesses are or whatever I’m supposed to be has got nothing to do with the fact that Barrow Football Club went into liquidation. I pumped money into Barrow and, as any chairman will tell you, the only way to keep a football club running, you’ve got to have a nice thick wallet. If they haven’t, tell them to forget it, because I have.”

He added: “I know why they got thrown out of the Conference – because they wouldn’t personally guarantee the debt.

“If it was me and Dave Pace in there we would have personally guaranteed that debt. I’ve done nothing that any other chairman hasn’t done. The debt incurred at Barrow Football Club was accumulated over the years. There were debts when I took over.

“The Conference threw Barrow Football Club out because they didn’t comply with the rules. Who is he [Keen] to break the rulebook? Who is this man? He’s taken on the Conference and lost and got the club relegated. Why couldn’t they just back-up the personal guarantees that were required to stay in the Conference? If he wants to be Mr Chairman, Mr Chairman has got to start spending money.

“They tried to dump the debt and set up and form a new company and take the affiliation of the company that they had dumped. When you buy a company you buy its assets and debts – that’s the way it works. You don’t go in and say ‘let’s start off today with not one penny owed here.’ That would be the ideal situation for the lot of us.”

Vaughan’s argument is that if those that controlled the club after him had continued to pay the club’s creditors with the £1,100 monthly Company Voluntary Arrangement he put into place, Barrow would not be in the mess it is today.

He has also vowed to return to the club once its legal wrangle is sorted out. He warned: “I’m saying to anyone in Cumbria that it is my intention to come back and purchase that place. I’ll lease it back to the club ands they can play football at Holker Street.

“If I fail in purchasing the Stadium, I’m going to make sure that someone pays the market rate, if not over, to outbid me. Brian Keen and anybody up there who thinks they’ve seen the back of me had better start thinking again. Brian Keen thinks he’s Jesus Christ but he’ll need more than bread and water to keep me away.”

And Vaughan is adamant that Barrow will never be under threat under his ownership. He has quashed rumours that he will sell the ground to supermarket chain Asda. Four years ago Vaughan negotiated a 21-year option worth £100,000 with Asda which gives them first option on Holker Street. But he insists that the deal was struck by Asda only to ensure that the ground was not sold to another retailer.

Vaughan has been so incensed by his misrepresentation that he even offered to publish his personal phone number to allow Barrow fans to discuss these issues with him. Addressing them he said: “The supporters have kept the club going, kept it afloat. I want them to know I have no hidden agenda, I am a fan too.”

Vaughan believes he will become the owner of the Holker Street ground after the conclusion of the club’s High Court case next January. He has already conceded with the liquidator that the sale of Holker Street to his company Northern Improvements was undervalued.

But with the liquidator likely to have to sell the ground to clear debts with creditors Cherry Tree Finance and Cumbria Business Group, Vaughan says he is well placed to return to the club he describes as his first love.

“If the liquidator says he wants to call Holker Street back to give it to Barrow Football Club he gives it back to me as the major shareholder,” explains Vaughan. “Me, as the major shareholder, will have to sell that stadium’s assets to pay of the creditors. I am the most substantial creditor. So I have an equitable right to redeem that loan before anybody else.”

He added: “I purchased the stadium for £410,000. What the liquidator said was that because only £110,000 changed hands, it was undervalued. But £300,000 had come in [to the club] through Northern Improvements [Vaughan’s company] and Stephen Vaughan personally. That makes me a preferential creditor.

“You’ve got a stadium that’s been sold to me. I don’t take any rent, so they say ‘let’s try and turn this over’. So they turn it over back to the shareholders. They give it back to the person they’ve just taken it off. You have to sell to satisfy the creditors – and the most substantial creditor is me again. I’m waiting with my hand out no matter which way it goes.

“So it’s like a bullying tactic. It’s only red tape. I’m not trying to justify myself – that’s exactly what I did. All this bollocks about fraud. It probably is red tape fraud, but it’s only a civil matter.

“Outside authorities got in my way, otherwise Barrow would have been in the Football League. All I did from the minute I went into the gates was build a brand new stand and build the stadium into Grade A criteria. What I haven’t done for that club isn’t worth talking about. I built Barrow from a company that was going nowhere into a Conference club and the fact they went into liquidation was through no fault of mine.”

Ends.

Chester City vs Barrow, Stephen Vaughan vs Terry Smith

2010-02-23T19:57:00.002Z

I’ve watched the demise of Chester City (in 2010) from a distance.
At the moment (late February) the club is on the brink of liquidation after a catalogue of financial crises.

Central to the story is their owner – technically former owner now – Stephen Vaughan who rescued the club from the disastrous ownership of previous incumbent Terry Smith almost a decade ago.

I interviewed American Smith after he appointed himself as Chester manager, a move which ultimately led to relegation from the Football League.

There was total joy amongst most long-suffering Chester fans when Vaughan took over from the hapless Smith.

I knew Vaughan before he took over as Chester boss. He had become involved behind the scenes at Dave Pace’s UniBond outfit Droylsden.

Previously, he was the owner of non-league Barrow when a financial clash with the authorities led to that club being liquidated and thrown out of the Conference.

In interviews Vaughan was as equally unapologetic about his treatment of Barrow as those Bluebirds fans were in their hatred of him.

I found Vaughan a very personable man to deal with. He could not have been more helpful to me. I was one of the first people he called after his shock takeover of Chester. Believe me it was a shock.

He even asked me what I thought of Mark Wright when he was considering appointing the former England defender as manager. I told him Wright’s attitude to people left a lot to be desired. Vaughan appointed him, on three separate occasions as it turned out.

The similarities in what has occurred at Chester and what did unfold at Barrow are frightening.

As a special treat for my readers I will publish several article and interviews I’ve done connected with Chester City Football Club. Coming soon are some Stephen Vaughan features, but first a September 28, 2001, statement from the then out-going chairman Smith.

PICTURED: Vaughan (left) with Smith

Terry Smith statement
28 September 2001
by Garry Cook

Outgoing Chester chairman Terry Smith finally did what no Chester fan ever thought he would – apologise.

Smith issued a statement after wrapping up the sale of the club to Stephen Vaughan admitting “The buck stops with me.”

He wished Vaughan success with the club that he guided for two years and said: “At least I have given Chester City Football Club the opportunity to fight another day, and that is better for the supporters than having no club at all.

“I accept the complete blame for this failure but at least I was able to bridge the gap between what would have been definite liquidation and a bright future.

“There will be many memories that I will one day be able to cherish. I thank everyone in Chester whose thoughtful kindness and friendship brought about these fond memories for me.

“I will be waiting everyday for moment that I will be able to sleep soundly and feel good again when I read Steve has led you back into the Football League. I know he will.”

But far from retiring from football, Smith has spent last week trying to launch a bizarre ‘World Football Scouting Bureau.’

Using the Chester City logo to promote the venture, Smith was last week promising young players the chance of professional careers in England, Wales, Scotland, American and Europe by attending ‘Evaluation Camps.’

The camps, due to be held in the Midlands and North-west yesterday and today promised that ‘all players will be measured and evaluated on athletic ability, playing ability, intelligence tests and tactical knowledge.’

One Chester fan contacted the Bureau and got through to Smith, but the American denied any involvement with the project.

Ends.

Arsenal were once a big side

2010-02-07T17:49:00.000Z

Arsene Wenger's Arsenal.

They were once the most athletic side in the Premier League. They won league titles, refused to let the opposition out-muscle them and displayed skill levels rarely seen in Britain.

Somewhere along the way the Gunners have, quite literally, lost their big players - those six-footers who added power to the side's undoubted skill.

Now Wenger, still the second-best manager of his generation after Sir Alex Ferguson, presides over a side of incredibly skillful dwarves - pleasing on the eye but dismissively brushed aside like a piece of fluff on a Barbour jacket.

Without Wenger I'm sure Arsenal would be in a far worse position than they are now. He's managed the side admirably on a far tighter budget than Manchester United, Chelsea and now Manchester City.

But the man who pioneered the acquisition of the incredible black (often African) athletes into the English Premier League, a formula which Harry Redknapp copied to FA Cup-winning success at Portsmouth, somewhere along the way misplaced his winning formula.

I could watch Andrei Arshavin, Samir Nasri, Theo Walcott and Cesc Fabregas all day.

But without players in the mould of Thierry Henry, Sol Campbell (previous version), Edu, Patrick Vieira (very previous version), Gilberto Silva alongside them, they could play all day and not win any matches.

Even sub-six-footers Kolo Toure and Lauren would be a help.

By the way, Wenger also needs a world class keeper.

Manchester United and Bishop Auckland by Garry Cook

2009-07-27T18:25:00.003Z

[WARNING: This is a long article]

It's not often you hear Bishop Auckland mentioned in the same breath as Manchester United. Let's be honest, you've never heard Bishop Auckland mentioned in the same breath as Manchester United. In fact, the only question you're asking now is, 'where the hell is Bishop Auckland?'

Well, as a United fan you should know because this club owes the tiny Durham mining town a huge debt of gratitude.

Fifty years ago, in United's darkest hour The Bishop came to the rescue. The Munich air crash in February 1958 will forever be remembered as one of the most tragic days in British football, when eight of the Busby Babes were tragically killed.

In the immediate aftermath of the disaster, Busby, himself a survivor, quickly began thinking about rebuilding his Babes. The United manager knew he needed some experienced legs to help with the development of the clubs new wave of youngsters.

From his hospital bed where he was still fighting for his life, Busby's thoughts turned to Bishop Auckland. He whispered to his assistant Jimmy Murphy 'send for Bob Hardisty.'

Hardisty, Bishops greatest ever player, was an old friend of Busby. And despite being 37 and retired he, along with fellow players Derek Lewin and Warren Bradley, went to Old Trafford to become lynch-pins in Busby's United rescue plan. Even goalkeeper Harry Sharratt was called in to coach the Reds.

As it happened, United's first game after the terrible crash was an emotionally charged reserve game at Old Trafford watched by 27,000 fans. Hardisty, Lewin and Bradley were part of the side. Though the trio had joined to help build United's future, Bradley in particular found the move from Northern League to First Division seamless and went on to star for United's first team and win England honours - the only Englishman to win amateur and full international caps.

Bradley, originally from Hyde, joined United on a part-time basis at the age of 24. He got a job as a teacher in Stretford and went on to score 20 goals in 63 appearances for the club. He even played against Real Madrid for United after spending the day teaching. He died last year, aged 73.

The beginnings of the greatest Northern League side lie at Auckland Castle, the home of the Bishop of Durham and where theological students from Oxford and Cambridge were studying. The students formed Bishop Auckland Church from Auckland Town broke away, later to become Bishop Auckland FC.

Historically, this link between United and Bishop was not the first. Way back in 1906 the Manchester side won promotion to Division One with three ex-Bishops - Charlie Roberts, Jack Allan and Jimmy Marshall - among their ranks.

But undoubtedly it was the transfers of Hardisty, Bradley and Lewin that United will forever have United indebted to Bishops.

United went someway to paying that debt when Alex Ferguson sent a side to Kingsway in 1996 for a benefit match which helped save the club when it found itself being sued by a Macclesfield player, injured during a game between the two sides.

Former Auckland chairman and current secretary Tony Duffy recalls: "We had to raise £30,000 in 28 days to settle out of court. A 'Save The Bishops' campaign was started in the Northern Echo and Alex Ferguson got to hear about it.

"They sent up a team, and a sizeable cheque, which really helped us out. Brian McClair brought the team up which included the likes of Paul Scholes and Nicky Butt to Kingsway. Gary Pallister also came to sign autographs. It was excellent.

"I bumped into Alex Ferguson at Old Trafford years later when he was doing the FA Trophy quarter-final draw. He knew all about the players who used to play for us, the ones which helped them out after Munich."

The fact that the mighty Manchester United turned to Bishops in its hour of need is proof in itself of how highly Busby rated the side. But statistically, Bishops were THE side of the Northern League before leaving to join the UniBond Premier League in 1988.

Bishops won the Northern League on no less than 18 occasions over a 99 year period, with a further three Amateur titles. They are easily the most consistent team in its history. In fact, in one amazing nine year run from 1947 to 1956, the club never finished outside the top two in the league.

In those days the Amateur football which Bishops played was of a much higher standard than it is today. The Amateur Cup Final, which Bishops won three years in a row in 1955, 1956 and 1957, was watched by 90,000 of fans at Wembley.

Bishops first league success came in the 1898/99 season, out-performing both Middlesbrough and Darlington in a remarkable year which saw them go unbeaten in the league.

Since 1900 Bishops - or the Two Blues - have gone through patches of success unparalleled by other clubs. They won the league twice in succession in 1901 and 1902 and then won once more in the 1908/09 season, beating South Bank 3-2 in a play-off at Stockton. The club's further league successes in 1910 and 1912 made it six championship seasons in only fourteen years.

Even when the club did not win the title they were nearly always in the running. Until the sixties, Bishops only finished outside the top ten in the league on one occasion.

Fixture list problems are a persistent moan of managers at all levels today, but if those same club bosses had to endure the grueling end to Auckland's 1936/37 season, they would not be so quick to voice their discontent.

Bishops finished runners-up that year after playing no less than eighteen games in 18 days - all without defeat. And that was not unusual. The following season, in which they were crowned champions, Bishops players appeared in fourteen games in 18 days.

And yet again in the 1938/39 season, the club faced another end-of-season fixture marathon of ten games in 11 days. And after recording six wins and two draws in their eight league games, the side grabbed the championship by a point from Shildon.

At this time, the club had none other than Liverpool legend Bob Paisley among its ranks. Paisley was outstanding during this ten-game match-a-day run, though he missed the Durham Challenge Cup Final through injury.

But his performances had done enough to catch the eye of the Merseyside club and soon after the end of the season, Liverpool came in for him. As with Manchester United, a Bishop Auckland player was the catalyst in creating a footballing dynasty at one of the world's most famous sides.

While at the Two Blues, Paisley earned his money as a bricklayer and he once commented: "During that time where we were playing a match every day I fell asleep on the scaffold after the midday break, and the lads just let me sleep on, and only woke me up when it was finishing time." Such scenes are unthinkable now.

When club chairman Coun. J G Waine was asked about the sides success he remarked: "No snobbery, a miner has the same chance as an undergraduate. Each player is chosen on merit. Has to be a top class 90-minute player. We try to cultivate good honest football, not kick and rush. Foster team spirit."

If 1966 was a great year for English football, it was a groundbreaking year for Bishop Auckland when they appointed their first 'real' manager. Manager's did not pick the team. Bishops had always used their committee to pick the team.

The decision to hand over full control to one man was a big one, but they could not have made a better choice than the education clerk from Gateshead Council, Lawrie McMenemy.

The young manager turned around their fortunes, guiding the Two Blues to third in the league in '66 and then to the domestic treble of League, League Cup and County Cup the year after.

Though Auckland went through another period of mediocrity after that, McMenemy never looked back, moving on to coach at Sheffield Wednesday (under Alan Brown) before managing outright at Doncaster, Grimsby, Southampton and Sunderland.

The Northern league said goodbye to its most successful side in 1988 when Bishops joined the Pyramid system in 1988. Within six seasons the club had managed to win promotion to the Premier Division, finishing a creditable fourth in their first season in that league. Under boss Tony Lee had they managed to grab the UniBond runners-up spot.

Ex-chairman Duffy, a devout England supporter who follows England around the world, saw his first Two Blues game in 1962. In the clubs recent history, he says the FA Cup run of 1989 stands out.

"We have had some good Trophy moments, like Stafford Rangers in the quarter finals, but the FA Cup is the big one. Our biggest game in recent years was in the second round and we drew 1-1 at Crewe," says Duffy. "In the mean time the third round draw was made and the winners of our game were to face Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. But we lost the midweek replay 2-0 at home."

Recent history has not been so kind to Bishops with a ground move, scheduled for 2002, failing to come to fruition. The move a mile-and-a-half across town to a new 10,000 capacity, £1,250,000 stadium was intended to give the club a chance of getting into the Conference - or Blue Square Premier as it is now. Instead the club were demoted for the first time in their history on the grounds of not having, er, a ground suitable for UniBond football.

In 2006 they slipped back into the Northern League, effectively back where they started all those years ago. Managed by ex-pro Brian Honour, they are currently third from bottom in Division One.

While their new ground has suffered a series of delays, Bishops have been homeless. They have spent some time at Spennymoor's Brewery Field and currently play at nearby Shildon's Dean Street ground.

But the links with United remain. And when Durham County Council finally give the go-ahead for their new stadium it will be illuminated with a set of floodlights donated by United in recognition of the three players they loaned out to Old Trafford in 1958.

THE PLAYERS

Bobby Hardisty was, without doubt, the greatest player ever to play for the Two Blues. On the football pitch, his talent was immense. But his refusal to accept 'boot money' deserves equal respect. In the days of the maximum wage in professional football, the way to make money in football was to play for an amateur side where illegal cash-in-hand payments were commonplace.

Throughout his playing career both for Bishops and Shildon, who he joined for a year in 1946, Hardisty always refused even legitimate expenses, never mind the boot money. He referred to players who accepted these payments as 'sharks.'

Perhaps the best way to gauge Hardisty's brilliance is through the respected BBC commentator Raymond Glendenning who picked Hardisty for his Team of the Season in 1954. But this was not an Amateur eleven, it was a full-blooded nationwide side. He picked Hardisty ahead of Tommy Docherty, Danny Blanchflower, Billy Wright and Ken Armstrong.

In the mists of history and the growth of the Football League, Hardisty might have been forgotten. But no one can claim not to have heard of the likes of Blanchflower and Docherty, yet here is Hardisty being spoken of as better.

His playing career started at the tender age of 17 and lasted 21 years, gaining every honour possible in amateur football. Hardisty, who also played cricket for Auckland, was selected to represent Britain for three Olympic Games and won fifteen International caps for England. He also played in six Amateur Cup finals at Wembley, winning on three occasions, and picked up six Northern League Championship medals. The town even named a new roadway - the Bobby Hardisty Drive - after him.

His best position was at half back, though he could also play as an inside forward or centre forward.

Hardisty first met Matt Busby at Bede College in Durham. At the time Busby was playing for Middlesbrough and managed to get Hardisty a game. He also did the same when Hardisty was stationed at Dalmahoy in Scotland during World War Two, arranging games with Hibernian.

But it was not until he was 37 years old that Hardisty got the call from Busby to come to Manchester United. As manager of Britains Olympic side, Busby also asked Hardisty to be captain, a role he had previously refused at Auckland.

"I felt I could give more to the team without the responsibility of being captain," said Hardisty later. "But I was very proud to captain Great Britain in the Olympic Games."

Hardisty appeared in the 1948 Olympics in London, the Helsinki Olympics of 1952 and the 1956 Olympics in Melbourne, Australia.

Out of all the honours Hardisty won, the final piece of the jigsaw was his Amateur Cup winners' medal. For a time, Hardisty must have thought that he was never going to get one around his neck. You can hardly blame him - he was part of the Bishops side which lost three Cup Finals at Wembley in the space of five years (1950, 1951 and 1954).

But in 1955, all that was to change. In this newspaper excerpt, the brilliance of Hardisty is remembered:

'Auckland's followers will remember Lewin, Hardisty and Cresswell for many a day. Above all, the crowd will remember Hardisty walking up to get his medal. It was the moment that fused the Northern and Southern ranks. They were, after all, just football followers, and glad that one of the game's greatest players had achieved his final ambition.'

As a coach, Hardisty saw success too. He passed an FA training course to become one of only six FA staff coaches in the country. Wilf Mannion and Stanley Matthews both failed the same course. Crook were to benefit from his excellence in this field - Hardisty led them to Amateur Cup success in 1959, the same year he left Bishops.

However, on a slightly less successful note, and a lesson to all meddling club owners across the country, Hardisty ultimately failed when he took over the manager's reigns at Kingsway. In 1961 Bishops recorded four straight wins in the Amateur Cup to take them to the semi-finals. But in extraordinary circumstances, the club committee, which still had the final say on team selection, changed the team which Hardisty had picked at a Monday night meeting.

After Hardisty left the meeting, chairman Bob Middlewood kept the committeemen back for an hour and persuaded them to agree to include Seamus O'Connell in the first eleven. Hardisty had left him out believing he was unfit through injury. Bishops lost 2-1 and Hardisty never managed them again.

In 1985 circulatory problems forced Hardisty to have his right leg amputated, but he remained mobile and continued to watch Bishops play until his death a few years later.

Hardisty could celebrate with the best of them, as he did so after the Amateur Cup success of 1957. However, after a trip up to Newcastle's Tyne Tees Television studios, Hardisty arrived back home in Bishop Auckland having lost the Cup. Unable to remember where he had put it, Hardisty was a relieved man when it turned up several days later in the boot of the Sports Editor's car.

THE GOALKEEPER

If any one player suffered through the success of Bishops in the 50's, it was goalkeeper Harry Sharratt - mainly because he had nothing to do. During that time Sharratt developed a reputation as a joker.

On one occasion, during an Amateur Cup game against Kingstonian, where Auckland were 12-0 up, he played up front in an attempt to score a goal. He never did, but Kingstonian got three back while he was playing as a striker.

In another game, a freezing Boxing Day game against Shildon, he famously built a snowman in the goal mouth.

"It's all true," Sharratt said. "We were winning four or five to nil. I was freezing so I decided to build myself a snowman."

And did he ever score? "Yes I did," he remembers. "I took a penalty once. It was in a local cup competition. It wasn't a good moment, though. Their goalie should have saved it because I hit it straight at him. It didn't go where I intended it to."

Sharratt's near twelve-year spell from 1953 until 1964 ran alongside the club's greatest period of success.

Now 70 and living at Kirby Lonsdale, he names player like Booby Hardisty, Seamus O'Connell and Corbett Cresswell as the best at the club. "Cresswell was a very good centre half," he recalls. "He was one of the best, he was immaculate." But he adds: "I do think that the team we had virtually picked itself, the players were so good."

Sharratt, who previously played for his home town club Wigan, came to Auckland from Blackpool. He was studying at Leeds but because he worked on Saturday mornings he could not get back to Blackpool. However, one Bob Hardisty to come to the rescue by offering a lift from Yorkshire every week in his car.

Sharratt was offered the chance to turn to professional with Middlesbrough and also helped Stockport County out on occasion, but never thought about leaving Auckland. His reason for staying so loyal sums up the attitude of footballers in that era. "I was just happy, very happy to play for Bishop. It was just one happy weekend when we played, a great camaraderie."

Lewis Hamilton wins again

2008-07-21T21:17:00.001Z

There's no doubt 2008 will be the year Lewis Hamilton is crowned Formula 1 world champion.

As a rookie last year he was one point - indeed one agonising slip in the wet - away from a sensational drivers' title.

Still just 23, he has outclassed the veterans and outperformed the current and past world champions.

His mastery in the rain was highlighted yet again at Silverstone (in July 2008) and the rain is when true champions step up to the plate to show their brilliance.

Now, after a midseason hiccup he is looking so in control, so dominant, so unflinchable that you just cannot see any other driver going to nose to nose with him.

He has the skill, he has the coolness under pressure, he has the passing manoeuvres. No-one else comes close. He has Ayrton Senna's confidence with out the arrogance, he has Alain Prost's cleverness without the crooked nose.

In fact, it is difficult to understand exactly why he failed to lift the drivers' title last season. His team-mate last season Fernando Alonso, who at the time was world champion, was made to look variously stupid, bitter, petty and bewildered as he was frequently embarrassed by the young Brit.

Probably it was only McLaren's insistence on equality between both their drivers which cost either one of them the title - both were one point behind Ferrari's Kimi Raikkonen after the decisive final race. There will be no such cock-ups this year at McLaren.

Heikki Kovalainen conveniently moved over to let Hamilton past at Hockenheim on Sunday as the new championship leader blitzed his way from fifth to first after a poor pit-stop strategy decision by his bosses.

Team orders are banned in Formula 1 - perhaps the most stupid rule in sport - but there can be no complaints from independent observers, such was the ease that Hamilton pulled off moves to pass Felipe Massa and Nelson Piquet Jnr in the final few laps.

Garry Cook joins Manchester City

2008-05-19T17:32:00.000Z

Manchester City have appointed Garry Cook as executive chairman with the brief to turn the club into a Premier League superpower.

Thanks for all the messages, support and advice but , sadly, I am not the Garry Cook who is joining Manchester City Football Club.

I can confirm I have been to Maine Road several times to interview players, report on matches and see Sunderland get hammered. I have also been to the City of Manchester Stadium, though that was to see U2 (they played a 1-2-1 formation).

This Garry Cook who shares with me the ability to spell his first name with two 'r's is a Birmingham City supporter who has been working for Nike in America. Good luck to him.

Zenit St Petersburg 2, Rangers 0, City of Manchester –10

2008-05-17T16:22:00.001Z

There were 100,000 Rangers fans in Manchester on Wednesday night for the UEFA Cup Final.

I’ll start again.

There were 150,000 Rangers fans in Manchester on Wednesday night for the UEFA Cup Final.

No, I’ll try it again.

There were 200,000 Rangers fans in Manchester on Wednesday night for the UEFA Cup Final.

It doesn’t really matter how many fans crammed into Manchester on Wednesday night. There were a lot of them, they didn’t have tickets, one of the screens broke down, some of the fans started a riot.

Interesting fact: Rangers’ Ibrox Stadium capacity is 50,000. So, at least 150,000 Rangers fans in Manchester were not regular visitors to Ibrox. Were they really Rangers fans?

Did these fans bring shame on to Rangers Football Club and Scottish football? Probably. Can you blame Rangers Football Club for the riots? Definitely not.

In a generous estimate, a cross section of the 200,000 Rangers fans in Manchester represents a (largely male) cross-section of British society.

There would have been quite a few fairly intelligent people in there, and quite a few fairly unintelligent people in there. And the problem is, you just can’t legislate for mass stupidity.

Politcians have to pussy-foot around when they are talking about chavs, scummers, dickheads and slobs for fear of bad press. But the reality is this section of society makes up an unhealthy proportion of the British demographic. Everyone knows it exists, but you’re not allowed to say it.

It’s these mindless morons and yobbo’s who caused the trouble in Manchester because they were drunk (no excuse) are thick (no excuse) and don’t think about the way they are behaving (no excuse). See Jeremy Kyle and you’ll see these people. They have no connection to Rangers, they are everywhere.

What’s the solution? I don’t think there is one. Invite them round, be as hospitable as you can. And pray your TV doesn’t pack in.

Frank Lampard

2008-05-05T16:25:00.000Z

Frank Lampard, standing alone in the penalty area, waiting to take his penalty against Liverpool.

It was the second-half of the second leg of the Champions League semi-final and I’ve seen nothing like it before.

Lampard, an England international and Chelsea’s talismanic midfielder, was playing in one of the most high-pressure games of his career just days after his mother Pat died.

Scoring a goal, from a typical late surge into the box, would have been so much easier. Having time to think about everything that is going on off the field as he waited for the referees whistle to take the penalty was probably the hardest thing this player has ever had to do on a football pitch.

Lampard is one of the most composed finishers in the British Premier League. His penalty was dispatched with typical precision. It was only then that his composure disintegrated.

He immediately ran to the corner flag to his left, pulled off his black armband and kissed it as he collapsed to the ground in an emotional heap. By now, the tears were flowing.

His team-mates swamped him. By the time he eventually got to his feet, his head nestled in Didier Drogba’s chest, the tears were still flowing.

He kissed his armband again and pointed up to the sky with both hands. He blew kisses to his dad, Frank Snr who was watching in the stand.

It was one of the most heart-rendering moments I’ve ever witnessed in a sporting arena.

I watched it live from my hotel room in Tobago. But at that moment I felt like I was alongside Frank Lampard, sharing his grief. I think everyone watching felt the same.

Lampard has had some unfair abuse from England fans over the past few seasons. His mum can rest in peace now with the fact that he now has the respect of the nation.

Kidknapped!

2008-03-02T21:19:00.000Z

If what I was about to discuss happened in Britain, there would be wall-to-wall TV coverage, TalkSPORT's Jon Gaunt's apoplectic voice would get even more high-pitched and the Daily Mail would reduce it's carrier bag campaign from nine pages a day to eight so they could report it.

The question is: Should it be any less of a news story just because the incident ha staken place in Honduras rather than Hartlepool?

Here goes: Wigan's Wilson Palacios is playing Premier League football despit the kidnapping of his 15-year-old brother Edwin Rene.

The kinknappers are holding Edwin in the hope of getting money out of Palacios, 23.

It's a shocker, but as Wigan boss Steve Bruce says: "His brother is still kidnapped -it apparently happens quite often in Honduras ñ but the family are in contact with him. And one thing is for certain they are tough people.

"We're hoping it can be resolved quickly, but it shows you everything about the kid that he can still produce a performance like the one he had against City. It is a delight to work with people like him- I wish I had a few more like him."

I'm sure Edwin Rene's kidnappers are hoping the same. Sounds like it's a lucrative business in Honduras.

Steve Coppell and the England job – when your face doesn’t fit.

2006-11-25T17:51:00.000Z

By Garry Cook

In the 1990/91 season Crystal Palace finished third in the league, behind champions Arsenal and runners-up Liverpool.

Do you find this inspiring? Palace had only won promotion to England’s top flight two season’s previously.

They had taken the league by storm – and Steve Coppell was the man inspiring them.

He built a super-fast young side, spearheaded by Ian Wright, which caught the rest of the football establishment off-side. I remember thinking at the time, just months after Graham Taylor succeeded Bobby Robson as manager of England, that Steve Coppell should be the next England manager. What a good idea.

Truly inspirational

That was 15 years ago. Football has changed a lot since then. Many of Steve Coppell’s contemporaries of that time have long since retired. But he is still around. And he is still pretty good.

Now with Reading, he has achieved much the same with his current club as he did with Palace a decade-and-a-half ago.

The days of winning promotion and then hitting the top three in the Premiership are long gone in British football, but Coppell’s achievements in keeping John Madejski’s club in decent Premiership fettle, not to mention last season’s record-breaking points haul in the Championship, should not be undervalued. Inspired enough yet?

He clearly knows his football, probably more so now than he did twenty-two years ago when he first began his managerial career.

So the question is: An Englishman, fantastic experience as a boss, motivational ability to get the best out of his squad, uncontroversial and (seemingly) no skeletons in the closet – why was Steve Coppell not considered for the England job?

If you don’t find Steve Coppell inspirational, perhaps that’s the problem.

I agree that he is not the most inspiring choice – but is that the point. The point is: he can do the job and he is infinitely better than those who were considered as Sven Goran Eriksson’s replacement.

Steve McClaren got it. Awful season with Middlesbrough rescued by UEFA Cup run.

Sam Allardyce was in the running. Kept Bolton in the Premiership. One promotion via play-offs (inherited a team that was already Championship-winning standard).

Stuart Pearce was being touted. Manchester City boss had less than 12 months experience. Who in their right mind would tout him? Even Pearce agrees.

In my opinion, it all comes down to your face fitting. Coppell’s face clearly does not fit with the media. The British press have never heralded Coppell and the FA, however much they deny it, will not consider someone who does not have a high enough media profile.

So that means that inexperienced guys like McClaren and Pearce are considered for the role of England manager.

What problems would Coppell bring to England?

He does not come across as a talismanic, charismatic speaker and leader. But so what? He can clearly handle players. He has them playing for him, he inspires them somehow.

His experience would surely mean that he was unlikely to f*** it up, produce weird formations when the pressure is gets too much or pick inexperienced 16-year-olds for World Cup squads.

No, people, Steve Coppell would do a good job, not create inappropriate headlines and get the best out of the players he has at his disposal. And how long is it since we had an England boss who could do that?

I don’t believe it - Coppell’s history.

Coppell managed Palace for nine years (1984-1993, winning the Zenith Data Systems Cup, reaching the FA Cup Final) and returned to the club for eight months (1995-96), then again for a season (1997-98, winning promotion via the play-offs). Then he made a fourth appearance as manager over 18 months from 1999-2000.

His many unhappy returns to Selhurst Park never quite equaled his glory-filled first 442-game stint. In fact, sandwiched in between his four spells at the club was a bizarre six game run at Manchester City which was most memorable for the broken-man look Coppell displayed when he quit.

But the former England striker dusted himself down and gradually rebuilt his reputation as Brentford (54 games) Brighton (49 games) and eventually Reading, where he remains today having guided the club into the Premiership for the first time in their history.

The Amazing Mike Newell of Luton Town

2006-11-13T11:45:00.000Z

Mike Newell, female officials and an apology to die for.

By Garry Cook

I have just been watching TV Gold that was Mike Newell live from Luton Town's training ground apologising for his sexist comments at the weekend.

Newell, if you remember, gave female official Amy Rayner a bashing after his side lost 3-2 at home to QPR on Saturday (November 11, 2006).

The former Everton and Blackburn Rovers striker was incensed over some of Rayner's decisions as a linesman in the match.

This is what he said in full: "She should not be here. I know that sounds sexist, but I am sexist, so I am not going to be anything other than that.

"We have a problem in this country with political correctness, and bringing women into the game is not the way to improve refereeing and officialdom.

"It is absolutely beyond belief. When do we reach a stage when all officials are women, because then we are in trouble?

"It is bad enough with the incapable referees and linesmen we have, but if you start bringing in women, you have big problems.

"This is Championship football. This is not park football, so what are women doing here? It is tokenism, for the politically-correct idiots."

'I know that sounds sexist, I am sexist'! It's great stuff if you like a laugh, but Newell has been hit hard for his comments.

Not only did his Luton board call an emergency meeting on Monday to discuss his comments but every paper and news channel has had a field day.

Hence the decision by Newell to do a live interview on Sky Sports News to publicly apologise.

Problem was, Sky Sports had done their research and what followed was the type of cringing hatchet job which Jeremy Paxman would have been proud of.

Basically, Newell was apologising for his comments, but when pressed he admitted that he still believed in what he had said. In journalistic terms, this is a weakness and the interviewer kept pushing the point, repeatedly asking the same question (just using different words).

And when Newell had become over-irritated with those questions he was then given the opportunity to become over-irritated with questions about his other comments criticising the Luton board.

He had said things like the club had gone backwards, the chairman's decisions had been awful and he had been promised funds that did not materialise. The Sky man had it all written down. "You might hit me for this question, but will you still be in a job by Saturday?" asked the Sky man. The questions came at Newell like a flurry of Amir Khan jabs.

And Newell was all over the place. His eyes were rolling, he was stuttering. He was laughing in frustration. "I'm only here to apologise about what I said, not discuss the ins and outs of it," he kept repeating.

What we learned about Newell, apart from the fact that him and his chairman obviously can't stand the sight of each other, is that Newell is someone to respect.

Not only does he tell it like he see it, his views are also considered - even if you disagree with him about female officials in men's football.

Newell has impressed me down the years. He's done a fabulous job at Luton Town. He was doing great at Hartlepool.

He is obviously a determined man. He worked for several years as a scout for Blackpool Football Club. I have seen him not only at League matches, but also at Premiership reserve matches and non-League grounds - at UniBond League games - quietly watching players, doing the groundwork. Hardwork.

And then there was the bung comments. Seemingly a quiet man who would not actively court the limelight, Newell was the first manager to speak openly about bungs in football. For that alone I see him as a pioneer.

To criticise the sport when many clubs, chairman, managers and agents are indulging in illegal practices was quiet incredible. In this area football is something of a closed shop and his chances of getting a job at the highest level could yet be restricted because of his honesty.

Newell has spoken out against bad practices in football, had a go at his own bosses whne they gone back on their word and voiced his opinions on women officials in professional football.

But it is honesty which resonates with me. Clearly he has decent values. He must be applauded.

I salute the bloke.

Martin O'Neill Mystery Man. How did he turn around Aston Villa?

2006-10-10T20:04:00.000Z

By Garry Cook

Martin O’Neill can, it seems, do nothing wrong. His reputation as a manager was pretty high before he came to Aston Villa on the eve of the 2005-06 season.

Trophy successes at Leicester, who fell faster than an eastern European after O’Neill’s departure, and then Celtic, where a seemingly dominant Rangers were humbled, won the zany Irishman as much critical acclaim as football can give.

But, my god, the job he’s doing at Aston Villa is quite extraordinary.

Where last season Villa were totally miserable under David O’Leary they are now mesmerising.

And it’s not because the style of football has transformed from hapless to pure class – Villa’s play is far from beautiful – it is because O’Neill has proved beyond doubt a fact that the rest of us had thought wrong: managers can make a difference.

Football teams rise and fall, they inconceivably stutter then they shockingly astound. And throughout a side’s natural cycle the manager can switch from brilliant to buffoon almost effortlessly.

You are left wondering are they any good? Did they just strike lucky?

But O’Neill, who attracts success like Peter Crouch attracts attention-seeking women, has taught us all that not only can managers hugely influence a team, they can also do it when they’re as mad as a hatter.

It is difficult to reconcile O’Neill’s punditry sessions on the BBC over the past few years, where he embarrasses Gary Lineker by frequently heading off-tangent, with the manager who commands respect and demands success.

But these are the facts: Martin O’Neill waltzed into Villa park just days before the season started. For the unenviable task of visiting the new Emirates Stadium for Arsenal’s first-ever Premiership match there, O’Neill picked a team almost identical to the one which drew 2-2 at home to Bolton Wanderers 12 months earlier.

Out of the squad of 16 players which O’Neill picked for his first match, there was only one new name – the young Gabriel Agbonlahor replacing Nolberto Solano who decided he fancied a move back to Newcastle United last January. It’s worth pondering on that fact for a moment. One change. They finished fifth bottom last season. O’Leary’s constant, constant moaning.

Villa’s draw against Arsenal was a far better result than a draw against Bolton a year earlier – but that was just a wake-up call. It is what has happened since that has enthralled.

Seven games played and no defeats. Villa fans can’t believe it. Birmingham fans can’t believe it. I can’t believe it. No one can believe it. Randy Lerner must be the luckiest multi-millionaire ever to buy a football club. O’Neill had already been appointed by the time his £62million take-over went through.

O’Neill is short on bluff and big on tactics. It appears that every player has been given unique instructions, a specific job to stick to.

Away from home O’Neill has largely stuck to a tight 4-3-3 formation. Olof Mellberg, Aaron Hughes, Liam Ridgewell and Gareth Barry have created a wall across the back, denying space to attackers.

And they have been backed up by a tough three-man midfield of Steve Davis, a revitalised Gavin McCann and, lately, Stilyian Petrov. These three, with McCann putting in the kind of holding role performances which should England boss Steve McClaren twitching, are as good as any unit in the Premiership so far this season.

Unlike McClaren, O’Neill is playing to his team’s strengths rather than shoehorning one or two men into places they clearly don’t fit. (Steven Gerrard wrong, Michael Carrick very wrong – take note Macca).

The only obvious weakness for Villa is in attack where the exciting duo of Luke Moore – until his injury – and Agbonlahor have been racing in from the wings to support Juan Pablo Angel. Goals have not been easy to come by. Villa drawing all of their first four away games tells its own story.

Part of the problem has been the spoiling tactics of using the two supporting attackers to nullify the creativity of the opposition’s full-backs.

At home this is less of a problem, with O’Neill refining his orders to allow his team to create genuine chances – a balancing act he will have to perfect if Villa are to become genuine diners at the Premiership’s top table (or until Randy asks Martin what he wants for Christmas)

Still, Villa fans will happily accept a season of away-day nail-biting after the endless whining Irish lilt of O’Leary they’ve had to endure in recent seasons. Their new zany Irishman is already a Villa king.

Special K. The 2006 Ryder Cup.

2006-09-25T08:01:00.000Z

by Garry Cook

Not much to say about the Ryder Cup. The pictures of Darren Clarke said it all, really.

Like last time, the European team demolished the Americans in a way that they should never be able to. The Yanks are better, stronger and win more trophies. But when it comes to team play they've fallen well short over the past few years.

At the K Club in Ireland the Yanks never got going. Scot Colin Montgomerie further enhanced his image as a phenomenal Ryder Cupper who can do it for the team on the big occasion but can't quite do it for himself (the exact opposite to Tiger Woods).

There is a danger now that the Yanks, having lost the Ryder Cup three times in a row, will lose interest in the competition and give up on it completely. Their interest seemed to be waning a few years back, although Tom Lehman's team did put a bit more effort into preparations this time.

But in the end the Yanks abroad were about as organised as the US army in Baghdad. They came, they saw, they floundered. Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq, the K Club. This lot don't travel well.

It was 'well done' with a few 'to be sures' all round to the Europeans from the seniors like Clarke and Monty to Swedish rookies Robert Karlsson and Henrik Stenson, the latter sinking the putt which won the tournament.

But special mention needs to be made of European captain Ian Woosnam', who sounds less and less Welsh every time he speaks.

While I appreciate his leadership and organisational skills, I can't see how the £10,000 he spent on players' clothing can be justified when the squad are forced to line up in hideous pink jackets with white round-neck t-shirts to receive the trophy.

While Sky proudly broadcast the win live, it was left to everyone's favourite old granny Beeb to shrink the day into a Sunday evening delights package, all the action and aftermath into one bitesized condensed lump.

Golf doesn't work too well in a highlights package - as David Howell taking three shots in succession proved.

But the Beeb stepped into its own class when victory was secured. Its determination to bring everyone to tears by asking Clarke questions about his recent bereavement, or asking everyone else questions about Clarke's recent bereavement was ruthless.

And it worked a treat. Hazel Irving got to Clarke first and she asked all the obvious questions. Minutes later Gary Lineker stepped in. He asked all Hazel's obvious questions, too.

The rest of the players got the same treatment. Everyone was choking up. I was just about managing to keep a lid on myself when the floodgates opened. The sight of twelve pink jackets tipped me over. I was a mess.

As they say in Ireland, they were a fecking disgrace.

What a drama with BBC Panorama. Sam Allardyce and football bungs.

2006-09-20T07:48:00.000Z

I want to make things crystal clear before we again. The following article in relation to the BBC's Panorama documentary on bungs in football contains circumstantial evidence. They are allegations only and no person, football agent, manager or otherwise, has been found guilty of any illegal activities.

You should not necessarily believe anything I say here.

That said, there is not a single person involved in football, from chairmen down to the fans, who does not believe bungs - illegal payments to agents and managers - are a major part of the game.

I feel that has excused me enough from sanction. If I am a liar, prove it. Show me the evidence. If half the managers in the Premiership can stick together in silence over allegations of bung taking then why can't I, as someone who wants to discuss the issue openly, be equally obtuse.

Their motto has always been: Say sod all.

Their silence is damning. They carry on raking in the money and devouring the fringe benefits while ignoring rumour and supposition because they are making too much dosh out of it.

Basically a bung goes like this. A player moves from one club to another. An agent is paid £150,000 by the buying club for his good work - and £50,000 of that goes back to the buying club's manager. A kind of thank-you for buying my player.
I have no doubt that there are far more complicated ways of players, agents, managers and chairman receiving far greater sums of money.

Who am I to say that past and present managers like Sam Allardyce, Harry Redknapp, Graeme Souness, Peter Reid, John Gregory and David O'Leary have taken bungs at some time? I am no one to say it, so I won't.

But it makes me sick when managers who are suspected of underhand behaviour fail to come forward with an offer to help rid the game of its shady dealings. If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

For example, imagine you’re an experienced Premiership manager who has been one step ahead of bung allegations for years - let's call you Barry Headclap. Something fishy went on a few months ago when you met a couple of agents. Now you've heard that the BBC has got something on you. You're under a bit of pressure.

You decide the best thing to do is deny any wrongdoing until the show comes out. You don't think the revelations will be all that bad, but you're not sure. When the BBC air their documentary one of your mates has got it in the neck more than you.

You got off lightly - the evidence isn't hard enough. You come out and say, 'I'm not guilty' and carry on as normal (except you’ll be a bit more weary in future of reporters wearing cameras).

The problem is that Barry, now believing he is in the clear, at no point will feel the need to come out and say, 'I want to work with the FA and the police to rid the game of its shady dealings'.

There's no chance our Barry will say at all. All he thinks is: You've got nothing on me, up yours.

That is not how it should be. But these managers will never hold their hands up because they know if they don't, they will get away with it.

George Graham, the ex-Arsenal boss, was the only manager to lose his job over bung allegations - and that was only because he admitted taking £400,000 from an agent. The rest learned their lesson from that one.

Even Bolton boss Allardyce, who was essentially crucified by his own son in the Panorama documentary, will have to be dragged out of his job rather than willingly walk the plank.

And that brings us to the FA. In many respects, the documentary has put all the pressure on to English football's governing body.

It is now up to the FA to take the BBC's evidence, examine it and (possibly) charge someone. And they will hate that. The FA have failed in the past to weed out the dirty side of the game.

In the past they had a dedicated 'bung-busting' man, FA compliance officer Graham Bean, who uncovered absolutely nothing. Before his post was discontinued he was deafened by a wall of silence wherever he turned.

Now they have the BBC's evidence, the FA have been handed their best opportunity of making something stick. But even that might not be enough to prosecute managers or agents. And if they don't now, they never will.

Even before the BBC show had aired, all those caught up in the show had issued statements.

Proving that these guys have no sense or remorse they shamelessly contradicted what they said on camera.

Craig Allardyce denied any wrongdoing.
Agent Peter Harrison denied he was corrupt.
Agent Teni Yerima claimed he made it all up.
Ex-Portsmouth coach Kevin Bond said he did not want to take a bung.
Agent Charles Collymore also claimed he made up what he said on camera.

Made it up? Is this guy for real?

It's quite pathetic. Along with Allardyce and Redknapp, this lot will now wait and see if they are charged with anything. They will fret and stew a bit, but they none really believe they will be punished.

Yes, British law states you are innocent until proven guilty, but stubborn non-co-operation in dealing with a serious issue is hardly the behaviour of a saint.

It was midway through the 2006/06 season when Luton manager Mike Newell first spoke in public about being offered a bung and complained about the way agents work. It was a brave move. It was also incredibly honest and I admire him for that. Ex-QPR boss Ian Holloway was the one manager to publicly back him up.

But I find it equally unadmirable that the rest of his fellow football managers united in silence, effectively leaving him out in the cold. To me, that says almost every manager in the game is partial to a little sweetener.

Until they all start being pro-active - and that includes players agents chairman, chief executives, coaches and scouts - the finger of suspicion will always be flicking around.

And with so much money being bandied around, this lot are unlikely to come clean.

Come on then, the FA - it's over to you.

Roy Keane watches Penguins. He's a wildlife lover.

2006-09-19T08:42:00.000Z

by Garry Cook

It's not often a story in the paper brings me to tears, but this one did. Nearly.

Sunderland manager Roy Keane, the snarling, vindictive, uncompromising, win-at-all costs former Manchester United midfielder, has vowed to be kinder to others after watching a movie on... wait for it... you won't believe this... here it comes... the mating rituals of p-p-p-p-penguins.

While sitting alone in a Glasgow cinema watching The March of the Penguins, Keane reflected on his life and career - how he come to England from Ireland as an 18-year-old and how hard he had been on his team-mates down the years.

And Keane, who had just joined Celtic while his family stayed in Manchester when he came over all funny at the cinema, began to weep uncontrollably when he realised his attitude towards his ex-United colleagues was unjust.*

Just give me a moment to wipe my eyes and compose myself.

Keane said: "It made me think about when I first came to England, the 18-year-old who went to the pictures in the afternoon.

"Here I was 16 years on, back at the pictures. My life had come full circle. It was a lonely life and I wish I had been a wee bit easier on some of the foreign stars at United."

Apart from that fact that Keane had an 18-year career which largely consisted of him segregating himself from his team-mates, at Nottingham Forest, United and particularly with the Republic of Ireland, does this not sound a bit soft?

I'm all for Keane being a bit more talkative as Sunderland manager, his new chatty persona is far more appealing than the death stare and occasional explosive rant at his team-mates which had previously been the norm.

But isn't he exploding his greatest asset - the fear which he breathes into others - with his confessionals?

Though no longer a player, Keane still needs his aura of nastiness to frighten both his own team and the opposition.

But by admitting, say, that his furious persona was nothing more than an act will surely make opponents less weary of upsetting him of his team.

He was even a pundit on Sky Sports on Sunday for United's home defeat to Arsenal. It's good to talk and all that, but Keane is in danger of coming across all Michael Palin.

He says he is trying to curb his anger as a manager, and now this. Getting soppy, feeling remorse. Penguins. He'll be having Mick McCarthy round for a stopover next.

Come on Keane quit the lovey-dovey bollocks. Bawl into Neil Collins, give Jon Stead the hairdryer treatment. Tell Tommy Miller to fri**ing get his foot in.

Either that or keep your gob shut. Mean and moody, that's how we like it. How about this - imagine the entire Sunderland squad are FAI officials and they've just organised an away trip to Brighton via boat.

Get in there and start kicking off. Be the bastard we know you are. Call Niall Quinn a muppet again. Put Bobby Saxton on a diet. Anything. Just no more penguins.

* Roy Keane did not actually admit to crying while watching The March of the Penguins.

Glenn Roeder, riding a wave of violence. Hammered by West Ham.

2006-09-18T08:33:00.000Z

by Garry Cook

You're the boss, your club's 2-0 up away from home and the fans start singing your name. It's a bit embarrassing, but you wave to acknowledge their praise.

Nowt wrong with that. Er, except if you are a bunch of seething West Ham animals who take exception to the gesture of Newcastle boss Glenn Roeder. A dozen or so even tried to get onto the pitch to attack the bloke.

And let me just reiterate the point: Roeder was waving to his own fans. Nothing to do with these Hammers lot. Waving? It's not even an unusual gesture, most managers have done it.

So why on earth did these crazy East Enders go monster raving loony?

From what I can see, Roeder's only crime was to manage West Ham up until 2003, where he was sacked while recovering from a brain tumour. The bastard.

How dare he! Sick leave? For a brain tumour! People have no backbone these days.

Was I the only person thinking that Roeder would get a round of applause from the home fans on his first appearance at Upton Park since his sacking?

Roeder could have died and should have been out of the game for good. Instead, he rebuilds his life bounces back and eventually finds himself in charge of a bigger club than West Ham. Are these Hammers fans jealous or simply stupid?

Yes, West Ham were relegated under Roeder and perhaps he just wasn't very good as their manager. But can he be totally to blame? The Hammers weren't in the best of health when Harry Redknapp left them and couldn't really continue with his, ahem, transfer policy.

On the numerous occasions I've witnessed a manager wave at his own fans, it has almost always been out of embarrassment. They are singing his name, he knows the only way to get them to stop is to acknowledge them. A little acknowledgement, a quick wave. Fuss over.

I just cannot understand the West Ham fans in this instance. Give the bloke a break.

Roeder got a lot of stick from Hammers fans when he was the club's boss. But so did Alan Pardew for a couple years before the fans had to finally admit they were wrong and that their current boss is actually quite good. So why can't they do the same with Roeder?

The only thing more stupid than giving him stick for a friendly wave was his post-match apology where he practically begged forgiveness from his former club. No need, no need.

He should have questioned what all the fuss was about, called the baying mob stupid, labelled those who tried to attack him prats and forgot about it.

Next you know one of the dickheads will be filing a complaint to police. 'Yes, officer, he stuck his hand in the air and waved - and there were children in the ground!'

Dear, oh, dear. As if football has not got enough to worry about with cheats, corruption and bungs.

They say players live in a bubble, that they are treated with too much respect and allowed to get away with murder. But get away with murder, too. They can call a player any name under the sun without fear of retribution. A player answers back to his tormentor and he's banned, fined, on the six o'clock news, the subject of a police investigation and forced to apologise.

Football is a game, fans should not take some of these essentially off-the-ball incidents too seriously. Come on Hammers fans - lighten up.

Tennis and television. A terrestrial problem.

2006-09-12T18:45:00.000Z

by Garry Cook

Everyone knows that the British play tennis about as well as cats swim.

Our record in the sport is abysmal. We suffered decades of non-achievement in the sport before the Greg Rusedski and Tim Henman golden period of non-achievement came along.

Rusedski actually gave us hope that a Briton could get past the second round at Wimbledon despite the fact that he was entirely Canadian. And, would you believe it, after finally getting someone who could serve fast as f*** to change their passport, along came Tiger Tim – a true Brit who turned out even better than his pseudo countryman.

And now, after the deadly duo wracked up zero Grand Slams between them in a decade of successless success, we have great Scot Andy Murray, a teenager who has everything needed to win a Grand Slam except basic fitness.

Inspite of (or is it despite?) this trio tennis in Britain is still a major event, or at least Wimbledon in Britain is a major event. And here lies the problem with this often breathtaking sport.

Wimbledon apart, tennis as a mainstream entertainment does not exist in this country.

And this shouldn’t be so. Tennis has always had great sportsmen, mesmerising competitors. It is also the only sport in the world were the women’s game is as high profile as the men's. Clearly something is missing.

Agreed, when it comes to the All England Club the interest in the sport is huge. Helped by a mixture of the BBC’s quaint coverage, short skirts and the lush green grass and architecture of the venue itself, the sport captivates millions.

Tennis is able to push football off the tabloid back pages, and that does not happen very often. The sport is also able to hold your attention for hours on end. A mammoth five-set battle with nerve-wracking break-points and breathless returns of serves can be brilliantly excruciating. Then there’s the finesse and skill of the women. Not to mention John McEnroe’s sublime commentary.

But the sport suffers outside of Wimbledon because, quite frankly, no one here cares. We’ve all heard of Roger Federer and Maria Sharapova, but we have a peculiar situation here in Britain where Wimbledon fortnight comes around and we’ve never heard of half of the players in the top 10 because we’ve shown no interest in the sport for 12 months.

Newspaper coverage dips dramatically for the US, French and Australian Opens, never mind the numerous lesser events. TV coverage is non-existent terrestrially (that’s free to receive broadcasts for you Yank readers). I presume there is a similar lack of interest elsewhere for tournaments outside home borders.

There was increased coverage of the US Open recently (2006) because Murray was doing well, but still nothing to get over-excited about.

Compared to Formula 1, tennis is strictly low key. When F1 comes to Silverstone the interest is huge. But when F1 goes to Belgium, Turkey, China or Canada interest is still huge.

While both sports are entirely different, they are equally suited to TV coverage.

The thing is this: F1 is sold as a season-long World Championship battle. You sit down to watch one race, you sit down and watch them all.

But the mainstream tennis fan - and by that I mean the bloke who watches Wimbledon on the BBC and not the Hooray Henry who is a member of his local tennis club - discards the sport from his mind as soon as Sue Barker wanders on to the court to try and make the loser cry.

If tennis is to truly swell its fan base in this country it needs first to tie-up a TV deal with the BBC or ITV, even Channel 4, to show all four Grand Slams, plus a few more high-profile events.

And if that means creating a season-long world championship, then so be it. Yes, there is a Champions Race, but that is way behind the rankings and the Grand Slams in importance.

The sport needs maybe 12 major events (F1 has shown anything more than 16 becomes tedious), all of which contribute to a players’ championship. And the championship itself needs to be promoted on ‘normal’ television – even if the ATP and WTA are forced to turn down bigger offers from the satellite companies.

A hard-fought championship staged around the world would whip up interest, the media would be forced to increase their coverage and Sunday evening TV tennis could become a welcome addition to UK viewing habits.

Tennis is compelling sport, but it needs more than two weeks exposure a year.

Michael Schumacher. Michael Schu are a cheat.

2006-09-11T07:42:00.000Z

by Garry Cook

And so it came to pass that, with just three races to go, the greatest driver of them all announced that he would be bringing the curtain down on his illustrious career at the end of the season. God bless the genius that is Michael Schumacher.

Or, to put it another way, the cheating German swine has quit.

At, 37, and with a record-breaking seven world titles to his name, Ferrari driver Schuey has decided it's time to take his foot off the gas. Take pole position on the sofa. Pull into the slow lane. Cruise into the sunset.

Having racked up 90 victories, 68 pole positions, 75 fastest laps, plus a record-busting 13 wins in a season (2004) and 148 points in a season (also 2004) , he will be able to lie back in retirement with satisfaction.

And having cut Fernando Alonso's title lead to just two pints, an eighth title is looking very possible.

But the hero of the tifosi will leave behind a legacy that is far from pure genius. In fact, as Marc Almond once almost said, Schumacher's reign has been dogged by tainted love.

In 1994, then with Benetton, Schumacher grabbed his first world title in sickening circumstances.

In the final race in Australia, the German was about to lose the title to Brit Damon Hill after his Benetton suffered a terminal fault.

As Hill passed, Schuey swung his Benetton deliberartely into Hill's Williams - taking both cars out of the race and clinching the title. Disgusting.

At the Spanish Grand Prix in Jerez in 1997, Schuey pulled off a similar manoeuvre as Jaques Villeneuve slipped past on the way to the title. All of a sudden BANG. Ferrari hits Williams. But this time Villeneuve's Williams escaped unscathed. Schuey finished second in the drivers' title before being stripped of his runners' up spot.

Both occasions highlight the desperate measures the German will go to in order to win.

What was the difference between 1994 and 1997? The FIA took action when Shcuey finished second in 1997 but did not dare strip him of his title three years earlier. Total cop-out.

Strip the sports biggest star of his first world title? No chance. But he cheated! Sorry, no. I mean, really cheated! No can do. Schumacher quite unliterally got way with murder.

Such dangerous and desperate driving should have been stamped out quickly and harshly. But, as happened on numerous occasions in Schumacher's career, he got off lightly.

While with Benetton he was banned after his team were found guilty of tampering with their fuel hose, taking out a safety valve so they could get fuel into the engine quicker. This is the same team who nearly cremated Jos Verstappen earlier that season when their fuel hose, and then the Dutchman's car, caught fire.

Even this season (2006) Schumacher proved he had not matured from his cheating ways when he deliberately parked his car on a dangerous corner in Monaco to stop anyone else going faster than him in qualifying.

He was slated over night and, thankfully, was stripped of his pole by race stewards.

I remember when Schumacher made his debut for Jordan at the Belgium Grand Prix where he stunned the sport with a superb qualifying lap (seventh). His first race did not last longer than a lap but he had done enough to win a move to Benetton for the next race. He never looked back.

For the first half of his 16-year F1 career Schuey rarely made a driving error. Spins and slides creeped into his driving later on, but much of that came as he pushed an inferior car to victory. And even when he did spin, he would more often than not get away with it because of his lightning quick reactions.

Juan-Pablo Montoya was a far more exciting driver for me, but he slipped out of Formula 1 earlier this season with nothing to show for his efforts. Schuey was a winner.

Like the late, great Ayrton Senna, Schumacher controlled his teams at Benetton and Ferrari, insisting that all efforts to win were concentrated on him - at the expense of his team-mates.

In 1999, after breaking a leg and missing much of the season, Ferrari team-mate Eddie Irvine went into the final race with a chance of taking the title from Mika Hakkinen. If Schuamcher won the race, the title was Irvine's. But there was no way Schuey was going to let another driver bring Ferrari a first championship since 1979. The German finished second to Hakkinen, Irvine third. Hakkinen took the title by two points. Funny that.

But Schuey did win the title himself in 2000. All the glory. You can't have some playboy Irishman strolling in taking the headlines.

David Coulthard called it right the weekend Schuey announced his retirement, highlighting the flashpoints and revealing what little respect some drivers have for the German.

Great driver, yes. Hideous role model? Without doubt.

You can't respect a man who cheats his way to victory. It's not the British way.

Shame of a Nation. Owen Hargreaves, England fans and the press.

2006-09-09T16:57:00.000Z

By Garry Cook

Why’s he picking Owen Hargreaves? He is s***. F****** S***. W*****. Total B*******.

So the conversations went for 12 months before, during and after every England game up until the World Cup.

Just why was Hargreaves, the young European Cup-winning Bayern Munich central midfield anchorman, being selected for his country? Can’t think why, me.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that this was the popular view of almost every England fan across the country, these thoughts were also echoed by the majority of sports journalists.

Professional writers. Paid for their opinions. Getting it totally wrong. Prize tossers.

These guys should at least be aware of the finer points of the game enough to appreciate Hargreaves’s worth.

That they weren’t was shameful.

You can forgive a crowd of football fans whipping themselves up into a misguided frenzy as England failed to inspire in their friendly and World Cup qualifiers.

But what I can’t stomach are the ‘professionals’ giving opinions equally ill-informed.

If England played badly against Denmark (friendly, 4-1 loss) or Northern Ireland (World Cup qualifier, 1-0 loss), was it really the fault of Hargreaves?

The central midfielder (just to reiterate his position) was rarely picked by former England coach Sven Goran Eriksson – and when he was he was played out of position on the right wing. In the two games mentioned Hargreaves came on as a late sub, replacing Frank Lampard both times (this bit is crucial).

And you can forget the fact that (arguably) he was England’s best player in the games he played in before injury in the 2002 World Cup in Japan and South Korea. Well, you should not forget that fact. But, evidently, you can.

Quite simply, it is a case of out of sight, out of mind for Hargreaves.

Hands up if you know who Bayern Munich played the weekend after the internationals in September*. Come on someone, have a guess. Anybody at the back want to have a go?

No. Didn’t think you’d get that one. And that’s the problem when it comes to Hargreaves. Unless you’re living in Germany, you won’t know what he’s up to. And it’s just too damn easy to criticise someone who’s not around. Totally unjust, but easy.

By the time the World Cup came around, fans and football writers were united in jeering the Canadian-born player at Old Trafford.

It was mass stupidity on a grand scale. Hargreaves was forced to defend himself, saying he understood the criticisms. He was careful not to upset the fans further when he should have stood up, lobbed the V’s and walked out.

Why hardly any writers were calling for Hargreaves to be installed in his favoured central midfield role with either Steve Gerrard or (preferably) Lamaprd axed, god only knows.

Some football columnists play a manipulative game of always giving their opinions based on fans’ views. Keep the fans on side, they think, and you can say almost anything you want.

That is fine until the fans are coming out with total b******s. That’s when you earn your money as a writer, that’s when you stand up and be counted. Go against the grain, show your incisiveness, be pro-active not re-active.

All too may failed. They know who they are.

To his credit, Eriksson ignored the popular opinion and selected Hargreaves for the England squad heading for Germany.

Only problem was, the Swede fudged it by refusing to drop his darlings Gerrard and Lampard in favour of the Bayern midfielder.

And when it became plainly obvious that the two attacking midfielders don’t work together (despite having four years to work that one out) in came Hargreaves.

Only problem was, Eriksson still refused to drop his dead duo. England stuttered out of the tournament on penalties to Portugal in the quarter-finals.

But guess what? Hargreaves emerged as (arguably) our best player. Again.

Now, like Peter Crouch who was also booed by England fans in the build-up to the World Cup, he is the darling of the English media. Even Manchester United tried to sign him.

But what happens in four years’ time? Will Hargreaves be booed and blasted again by his country’s fans? Absence, as they say, makes the heart go fonder. Makes your brain frazzled as well, apparently.

* Bayern Munich did not play the weekend after the international fixtures. On Saturday, September 16, they travelled to Arminia Bielefeld. Hargreaves broke his leg in the match.

Chelsea, William Gallas and Peter Kenyon. A Premier joke.

2006-09-06T19:38:00.000Z

By Garry Cook

Whatever the truth about William Gallas and his fall-out with Chelsea, there is one
thing we can be sure of: his former club are the most hypocritical petty whingers the game has ever seen.

Chelsea's issuing of a statement because it was 'important for our supporters to be made aware of the full facts regarding William Gallas and the lack of respect he showed to the fans, the manager and the club' is as hypocritical as an arsonist phoning the fire brigade on bonfire night.

The sheer regularity in which either Chelsea, chief executive Peter Kenyon or manager Jose Mourinho get into spats with UEFA/FIFA/Barcelona/Arsene Wenger/Sir Alex Ferguson/Ken Bates should be enough for the Blues to realise that silence is golden - or at least a helluva lot more peaceful.

But it is the sheer pettiness of Chelsea - and one can only presume Kenyon is behind the statement - which riles.

If you accept that revealing to fans what Gallas allegedly said is fair enough, surely you can't stomach the way Chelsea twist the knife.

Part of their statement on Gallas read: "He also failed to recognise the role Jose Mourinho and Chelsea played in helping him become a double Premiership champion for a player whose only league title prior to that had been in the French Second Division."

Why add in the bit about 'only' winning a league title previously in the French Second Division?

As well as upsetting the French Second Division (possibly) all this sentence does is highlight the fact that the bitter Blues are not in control of their emotions.

It leads to reader to think that the Blues have been scorned by Gallas, like a 15-year-old girl high on hormones who has just lost her boyfriend to the bird across the street.

No, Chelsea sitting on the moral high ground does not rest easily on the stomach.

This is the club, remember, who in recent weeks paid Manchester United £12m (plus £4m to Lyn Oslo) for Jon Obi Mikel, a player they were all but found guilty of tapping up from Lyn despite him having signed a deal with United. They denied making any contact with Mikel, even though the player stated a desire to join the Stamford Bridge after having signed with United. Strange.

The fact that they stumped up so much cash for a teenager who never played any kind of match for United is an admission of guilt as much as it is an admission of desperation to get their hands on the player.

They also, in the words of Leeds chairman Bates, 'tapped up' two Elland Road kids. When Bates labelled Chelsea 'a bunch of shysters from Siberia' they issued a statement accusing him of racism (Chelsea's Russian owner Roman Abramovich is Jewish) but nothing by way of an apology for taking two of Leeds' potential stars. Apologise? Chelsea? Are you out of your tree?

Then there was Mourinho's labelling of his own player Claude Makelele a 'slave' after he was called up for international duty with France after retiring.

Instead of asking their manager to lay off the mud slinging, Chelsea issued yet another statement labelling comments by France, their coach Raymond Domenech and Lilian Thuram "Ill-considered."

Ill-considered? Mourinho called him a slave!

The statement went on: "They (France, Domenech and Thuram) also fail to understand Jose Mourinho's comments regarding 'slavery' which were purely a metaphor to illustrate the Makelele problem, a figure of speech rather than a literal comparison with slavery as a social and political issue. As a result of their failings, deliberately inflammatory comments will only cloud a problem which is on its way to being resolved."

How dare they. How f****** dare they! If calling a black player a slave is not inflammatory, then hold my hat I'm jumping in the nearest river. I can't take any more of this.

Chelsea were riled, by the way, after Thuram had dared to criticise Mourinho's use of the world slave. Clearly Thuram should have known better!

There are countless other cases of Chelsea tapping up, arguing, bullying and defying soccer laws.

In many respects, these things are accepted as part and parcel of football. What club doesn't tap up? What manager doesn't say things which annoys another manager?

What riles about Chelsea is the way one arm complains it has been violated while the other violates in the worst possible way.

Though the Gallas problem had been simmering for a while (as early as last season, Chelsea claim) it only came to a head on the back of the Stamford Bridge club's outrageous tapping up of Arsenal full-back Ashley Cole. And they even tried to squirm there way out of that one despite granite-like evidence. They were recently fined £300,000 and had a suspended three-point deduction imposed by the Premier League.

The fact that Kenyon and Mourinho - a manager I rate, though I have grown tired of his whinging - were virtually forced to hand over Gallas in the deal that saw Cole move across London is the only piece of pleasurable most fans will take from this whole sorry story.

Roy Keane is Sunderland's saviour? Before we say that we need to be sure, to be sure.

2006-09-06T19:15:00.000Z

By Garry Cook

He’s ‘apologised’ to Niall Quinn and Sir Alex Ferguson and told us all that he wasn’t that great a player anyway – and all this before he has actually taken charge of his first match.

Yes, the Roy Keane road show has rolled into town.

Inside his first week the snarling, unforgiving, brutal bastard broke with protocol by saying sorry and pledging to be a bit more subtle.

In his inaugural press conference as Sunderland boss only one journalist had the balls to question Keane about his treatment of former republic of Ireland team-mate Niall Quinn.

As Sunderland’s chairman, Quinn is now embarrassingly Keane’s boss. He was sitting alongside Keane when the question was asked. I’m cringing even now thinking about the pairs past and present situation.

After Keane fell out with Republic of Ireland boss Mick McCarthy on the eve of the World Cup in 2002, the former Manchester United midfielder labelled the ex-Sunderland striker, amongst other things, a muppet.

When the pair met later that year at the Stadium of Light there was a rather acrimonious incident as Quinn, to his credit, tried to shake the hand of Keane.

Unfortunately, Quinn made his gesture after the volatile Irishman Keane had been sent off following a running battle with another Republic player, Jason McAteer.

It was this incident which was mentioned in the press conference. Keane brushed the question aside like a seasoned pro (which he is) and stated that he had realised his mistakes and totally changed his opinion of Quinn – but he had NOT done so to get the Sunderland job. Roy Keane does not arse lick.

His steely stare meant there were no more questions on the subject. Basically, Keane got off lightly. Again. Professionally, no journalist in the room wanted to upset Keane for fear of being denied access to him in the future. And privately, no journalist wanted to upset Keane for fear.

On the rare occasion Keane forced a smile, I was wincing. It didn’t look right. It wasn’t Roy Keane.

There were huge similarities in the way Keane brushed away his past misdemeanours at the press conference and the way he excused his past thug-like behaviour in his autobiography.

In his book there was a lot of metaphorical shrugging of the shoulders as Keane glossed over his World Cup fiasco, his relationship with his Irish team-mates and the number of pitch fights he readily took part in.

However much of a great player Keane was, should he ever be forgiven for his deliberate maiming of Manchester City’s Alfe Inge Haaland in 2001, a tackle which ended the Norwegian’s career and was retribution for Keane’s cruciate injury during a spat with the same player years earlier?

Keane recalled in his book: "I’d waited long enough. I f***ing hit him hard. The ball was there [I think]."

What a lovely man.

It’s seems churlish to mention Keane’s other numerous flashpoints – Patrick Vieira (several) and Alan Shearer at St James’ Park being the highlights – but the point is made. Keane is a bastard. Luckily for Sunderland, having taken the title for the worst team ever to grace the Premiership twice, they are in desperate need of a bastard.

No Sunderland fan is 100 per cent chuffed at Keane’s appointment. No experience = no confidence. But things have been so bad on Wearside for so long that they’ll to cling to any bit of hope they can.

Sunderland’s first win – and points - of the season came in the Bank Holiday Monday home victory over West Brom. They had suffered four straight defeats before then, including a loss to Colchester – and not including a Carling Cup defeat to League Two’s then bottom side Bury. Was it a coincidence that Keane was sat in the stand watching his prospective new club when they put in their best performance for nearly four years?

Maybe that assumption is hard on Quinn who finally got a positive result in his short stint as caretaker manager.

But it’s onwards and upwards, that’s what Sunderland fans are saying. Forget the past, look forward. Yes, he’s a bastard, just let the bastard stick it up our shower of s***.

In his book, Keane went out of his way to blast the managerial ‘bluffers’, those who lack tactical awareness and instead shout and scream in the dressing room. At the time, this was taken to be a swipe at manager’s like then Sunderland boss Peter Reid.

So it was with a smile on my face that I watched Keane in his first week of full training at Sunderland standing alongside Bobby Saxton, Reid’s former assistant who Quinn brought back to the club at the start of this season.

Saxton was said to be the bawler behind Reid’s mostly successful stint at the Stadium of Light. Will Keane be as good as his words and turf the wily old coach out? Or can he really forgive and forget?

It’ll be fast and furious at the Stadium of Light under Keane, and it is unfair to suggest this great player will not cut it as a manager purely because he was a great player. Idiot's logic.

Keane was as good a player that has played in the Premiership, possibly even the best. But at times he was also as good as a thug.

How long will he stay on Wearside? How good a manager will he be? And how long before he falls out with Quinn again, never mind Dwight Yorke. He’s s***, yes, but it would be s*** without him.

It’s important to give a bloke a chance, or a second chance, or whatever. We must not to be prejudicial. Before we make any judgement on whether Keane has changed, we need to be sure, to be sure.